


Take My Heart Again

by Ev3rMichelle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alpha Rey (Star Wars), Alpha Snoke, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Art history nonsense, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben is kind of a mess, Eventual Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hand Jobs, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Modern AU, Name-Dropping: Art History Style, No Pregnancy, Omega Ben Solo, Panic Attack, Rey travels a lot for work for completely not mysterious reasons, Ruined heat, Sad Ben Solo, Shit is getting REAL, Snoke is the Worst, Snoke really is an asshole, These babies will be happy in the end, Vaginal Fingering, also playing fast and loose with the FBI, and the judicial system for that matter, dub-con if you squint, playing fast and loose with the art crime world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:20:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24887488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ev3rMichelle/pseuds/Ev3rMichelle
Summary: The first time Rey saw Ben Solo, she was late.The second time Rey saw Ben Solo, she swore she was mistaken.What happens after?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 197
Kudos: 202
Collections: ReylOlds





	1. Inspiration

**Author's Note:**

> *Inserts obligatory first fic clarifying statement here*
> 
> But seriously, I hope you enjoy this little labor of love from an art history nerd who started out writing a smutty one-shot that turned into...this. 
> 
> Special thanks to my incredible friend [Elegy Goldsmith](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElegyGoldsmith/pseuds/ElegyGoldsmith), who held my hand through the whole process from literally as far away as you can get and still be in the continental US. Els, I couldn't have done this without you and I am forever grateful and in awe of your talent. Go read her fics, you will absolutely not regret it! <3

The first time Rey saw Ben Solo, she was late.

She was rushing down the hall towards her Roman Architecture seminar, scanning the room numbers as she juggled her backpack, a huge thermos, and a slip of paper with the room number scrawled on it. As she grasped the handle and eased the door open, the thermos tilted in her grasp, spilling hot coffee all over the front of her hoodie.

**Not a great start,** she mentally sighed. With a full day of classes, and no time to return home to change, she’d be smelling like coffee all day.

Rey had hoped to just sneak in and find a seat easily. She hadn't counted on a broad-shouldered, dark-haired man staring at her impatiently, frowning as the door clicked shut behind her.

“Are you in the right place? Because this seminar started…” he checked his watch, “seven minutes ago. You’re late.”

Holding her side (damn her propensity to avoid exercise), Rey managed to gasp out, “R-Roman Architecture? Ackbar’s class? Sorry, I overslept—”

“Sit down. We’ve already begun and you’re behind.” His attention immediately returned to the papers in his hand. “Now, before we were interrupted—” his gaze cut to Rey and she shifted nervously, “—let’s go over the syllabus and study topics that Professor Ackbar has passed on to me.”

She plopped herself down in the closest chair and rummaged through her bag for a notebook and pencil, staring at the man from beneath her lashes. Someone passed her a syllabus, and she read the name _Ben Solo, BA, MA, & PhD Candidate_ on the first page.

The seminar ended quickly, the hour spent going through expectations (high), grading standards (even higher), and submission policies (on time, no exceptions). The clock moved to the eleven o’clock hour, and Ben cleared his throat.

“You’re all excused, I’ll see you Wednesday —come prepared with a subject for your first paper. Remember, choose a topic related to the rise of Roman architecture in relation to the concrete revolution!”

Rey stood, hoisting her backpack over her shoulder and grabbing her coffee from the table in front of her.

“Miss Erso? Please stay behind.”

Fuck. Taking a gulp of coffee, Rey made her way to the podium where Professor Solo stood, staring at her.

“I’m sorry I was late, it won’t happen aga—”

“See that it doesn’t,” Ben interrupted. “If you want to pass this class, you need to actually be _in class_.” He raked his hand through his hair as if he couldn’t be any more annoyed with her.

Rey stared up at him, wrinkling her brow in frustration.. “Uhh, ok. I’ll try to be on time.”

“No. You _will_ be on time. The attendance policy is clearly outlined in the syllabus. I suggest that you study it.”

He picked up his briefcase and headed for the door, glancing over his shoulder at Rey, who was frozen in place, shocked at the bad attitude of her professor.

“That’s all.”

With those final words, Ben Solo walked out of the classroom, leaving Rey alone, wondering what in the hell just happened as the door slammed behind him.

~~~

So began Rey’s Worst Semester Ever with Professor Solo (as he insisted on being called). Sure, he was smart — brilliant, even — but he was also demanding, intolerant, and generally grumpy as hell.

He was also beautiful, damn him. Wavy dark hair framed a face with expressive eyes, a patrician nose, and plush lips that were usually pursed in irritation when his gaze fell on her.

The fifteen weeks that made up the semester were torturous. Fifteen weeks of submitting papers she worked hard on, only to have them come back marked up with slashes of crimson red pen and harsh comments belittling her research, her grammar, and once even the size of the page numbers. Fifteen weeks of listening to his rich baritone voice extol the virtues of _insula, horreum,_ and _thermae_ while trying to take notes that were more than doodles of men with dark eyes.

But now Rey was free. She walked out of her dorm for the last time, having picked up her diploma from the dean’s office that afternoon to avoid the hours-long commencement ceremony.

Her car was packed, the GPS was set, and she was an Alpha with a plan.

~~~

The second time Rey saw Ben Solo, she swore she was mistaken.

Yes, it was five years later, but surely no one could change _that much,_ could they? Why would a man as brilliant as he be working in an airport, looking like not much more than a hired thug?

As Rey strode off the tarmac and into the private airfield’s security line, her eyes were immediately drawn to the face of the dark-haired man sitting behind the customs counter. Ben slouched in his chair, looking like he was trying to take up less space than his body was actually capable of. No longer was the man dressed in fitted button-downs, sweaters, and chinos: he was outfitted in an oversized black suit that somehow made him look like he was playing dress-up in his father’s closet. His hair was longer, a goatee framed his lips, and he had grown even broader across the chest — but there was no mistaking that face.

Rey grinned at him, tilted her head in his direction as he cast his eyes down to her documents. “Ben Solo, right? You’d taken over Ackbar’s seminar at Corellia when I was a senior.”

“Oh. Uh, yes. That was me. What was the purpose of your trip to…” Ben rifled through her paperwork. “…Puerto Rico?”

“Just a vacation. You know, beaches, hiking, ziplines.” She waved airily. “What are you doing here, Ben — ah — Professor — uh — Mr. Solo?”

“I work here. This is my job.” Ben looked up at her, and their eyes met. “Do you have anything to declare?”

Rey swallowed hard. It was now or never.

“No. Nothing to declare. I don’t underst—”

“Welcome home, Miss Erso,” he cut her off roughly. “I hope you had a good flight.” Ben handed back her bundle of documents and peered at the man in line behind her.“Sir, can I have your passport, please?”

Clearly dismissed, Rey gathered her suitcase and carry-on and made her way to the sidewalk outside the airport. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled past text messages from Finn and Poe, demanding her presence for drinks later that night, and pulled up the Lyft app to order a ride.

With the final leg of her journey set, she dialed a number she now knew by heart.

“Lando? I got it. I’ll be at the office in twenty minutes.”

Rey hung up and chewed quietly on her fingernail as she contemplated seeing Ben Solo, the bad-tempered but brilliant art historian, for the first time in five years.

And to see him working as a Customs agent?

Rey shook her head. _What a waste of potential._


	2. Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO much for the response to this fic! I'm thrilled that you love it. :) Thought I'd give you a little update since I'm heading out camping for the weekend--hope you like seeing more of my Ben and Rey!

********

At the end of his shift, Ben slowly made his way to the back room and began sorting through his locker, lost in thought as he gathered his lunch bag and coat. Seeing a student he knew from his days at Corellia unnerved him. He didn’t like surprises, and he certainly didn’t like being reminded of his long-ago potential career path. 

“Benjamin.” 

A rasping voice from behind made Ben jump, and metal clanged loudly as he slammed his locker shut. He forced himself to meet the watery blue gaze of the airfield’s owner, JJ Snoke, trying not to shrink beneath the man’s inescapable glare. 

“Yes, sir?”

“I saw someone I thought I recognized this afternoon in your line. A woman. Petite, dark hair? I believe she was trying to...chat with you?” 

“Ah. She was nothing, sir. Just a student I used to know. From before.” Ben scratched the side of his neck absently, chasing a phantom itch, while forcing himself to stand up straight. It wouldn’t do to have Snoke interested in her. _Ben_ shouldn’t even be interested in her.

“Good. That’s good. It wouldn’t work for you to get distracted, my boy. Think of where you were when I first met you — slaving away with your books and your _paintings_ and _sculptures,”_ Snoke sneered. “Remember that _I_ was the one who brought you here, who built you to your full potential, and who has given you every opportunity.” 

Ben nodded curtly, chewing on the inside of his cheek.

“Complete your training with me and I can give you everything you’ve ever wanted...”

“Sir, you have to know I’m grateful. I’m trying to put everything behind me, but it’s been five years since--”

“I know, Benjamin,” Snoke interrupted, “I’m just warning you that a pretty girl in a skirt isn’t worth losing everything for. And I believe we’ll be seeing more of young Miss Erso around here.”

Ben frowned in confusion. “Sir?”

“Nothing to be concerned about yet, my boy. Just keep an eye on her and let me know if you notice anything… suspicious.” Snoke reached a thin hand out and straightened Ben’s jacket. “Anything at all, you just come to me. After all, I’m the only one who has supported you all these years.” 

With that, Snoke turned and began walking away, leaving Ben standing at his locker, feeling slightly queasy and lost. What did Snoke want with an art history student? 

Ben ran his hand through his hair and drew in a deep breath. _Working for Snoke is worth it. He believes in me. Someday he’ll let me take over the business and I won’t have to worry about anything._

~~~

Snoke was right: Rey _did_ come through the airport several more times, always arriving from a different location. Each time she seemed prettier than before — wearing a colorful scarf tied around her neck after a trip to Paris; a Beber-inspired necklace she found in a souk in Marrakech; a pair of dainty filigree earrings she got in India. Each time she smiled prettily at Ben and tried to chat, while he moved her faster and faster through the customs line, attempting to avoid her every attempt at friendship. 

During her fifth trip through his line — from Naples, which, she announced, was a trip for work, “...and Ben, I saw Pompeii while I was there, and did you know it _rained_ the whole time? Can you believe it? This amazing place — all that history — and I ended up absolutely soaked...” 

Ben tried to hurry her through, making appropriate _mmhmm_ sounds at her commentary and trying extremely hard not to picture Rey soaking wet amongst the ruins of Pompeii. 

He was so focused on _not_ asking her if she preferred the Villa of the Mysteries or the House of the Vetti that he jumped when a papery hand reached past his ear., “Benjamin, will you introduce me to your...friend?” 

~~~

Rey paused in the middle of her explanation of which pizzeria in Naples was _most authentic, Ben_ , and grasped Snoke’s hand as Ben stuttered, “Ah — Sir — Rey — I mean— This is Rey Erso. We met in college. _She_ was in college, I mean — I was teaching her seminar. Rey, this is Mr. Snoke, my boss.”

Rey cocked her head and glanced at Ben, curious over his sudden anxiety around this severe-looking man, 

Snoke smiled thinly, “A wonder that Benjamin didn’t tell me all about you, Miss Rey Erso. A lovely girl like you…”

Rey’s nose wrinkled as she tugged her hand out of his grasp. An unsuppressed Alpha was rare to encounter, and his scent was quickly becoming too much to bear. The fetid, decaying sort of smell was overwhelming, but Ben showed no sign of discomfort whatsoever.

Ben stiffly held out her passport, and she reclaimed it, smiling tightly at Snoke. “Yes, I just happened to fly through a few months ago, and the process was so easy compared to the bigger airport in Yavin that I’ve moved all my flights here. And running into Ben was such a surprise.” She shot Ben a sideways glance. “I couldn’t believe he was working here instead of in an auction house or museum. He seemed to have _everything_ planned out for himself when we were at Corellia.” 

Ben slunk even further into his chair at that rather pointed comment, weighed down as Snoke’s hand firmly planted itself on his left shoulder, bony fingers digging in tight. 

“Oh, I think Benjamin is doing _just fine_ right here at my little airport, don’t you agree, my boy?” 

Snoke squeezed, and Ben grunted out a quiet, “Yes, Sir,” while avoiding Rey’s questioning look.

She nodded once, clamping her lips into a line. Throwing Ben one last backwards glance, she gathered her things and left the terminal, glad to be rid of the smell but more than a little on edge after meeting Ben’s boss. 

As Rey ordered her Lyft from the airport’s curb, she shifted her messenger bag and rotated her shoulders. They felt stiff and achy after the hours in a crowded airplane — but she shook the feeling off as she dialed the usual number.

“I’ve scheduled the shipment. It’ll arrive next week to the address you provided. I’ll meet the delivery and arrange for the transfer once we have it in hand.” 

Rey clicked off the call and spared a quick look through the windows behind her. Snoke was deep in conversation with Ben, who sat hunched in his chair, eyes focused on his lap. 

No. It wouldn’t do to get involved. _No complications, remember? Eyes on the prize, Rey._

~~~

Snoke was lecturing again, spittle flying from his lips as he waxed poetic about the importance of duty, of loyalty, of dedication. Ben resisted the urge to fidget and instead focused on the file folder sitting on the desk in front of him, fingers itching to open it and discover what lay inside. 

Suddenly, Snoke took a tangent in the middle of his usual diatribe, leaving Ben mentally scrambling to keep up.

“Benjamin, that girl. Miss...Erso, is it? It’s come to my attention that she’s more than just your average tourist or business traveller. My contacts overseas have confirmed that she’s gotten herself involved in a rather large… smuggling ring.” 

At this, Snoke paused, seemingly waiting for Ben to interject —but Ben sat silently, mind whirring.

Rey? A _smuggler?_

“I have all the information in this folder. I’d like you to look it over before your shift begins. Familiarize yourself with it, I expect you to take the lead on apprehending her before we turn her over for further questioning. Perhaps your familiarity with her will encourage her to be more willing to talk without additional...ah...encouragement.”

Ben hardly dared to breathe as he opened the dossier, shuffling through photos of Rey clearly taken with hidden zoom lenses. Photos from Morocco, Paris, Mumbai, Puerto Rico. Rey shopping, going into office buildings, climbing steps into museums. A detailed list of her whereabouts, her travel itineraries going back months, before she came back into Ben’s orbit. Printouts of call logs, text message conversations... 

Ben closed the folder quickly, eyes darting up to meet Snoke’s.

“Sir, I don’t understand. She’s… She’s just traveling for work. She went to Puerto Rico on vacation, she told me…” He trailed off, fingers smoothing over his pants, pressing down to keep his knees from jiggling under the table.

“Benjamin, think clearly. A pretty girl like that, chatting with _you?_ You’re just a warm body behind a desk, someone to flirt with to ease suspicion so she can bring her goods to the city. You do your job like I told you. Apprehend her. Call the authorities once you have. After all of that, I’ll consider giving you more responsibilities here. But only if you follow my orders to the letter.” 

With each sentence, Snoke leaned closer and closer across the table, until Ben could feel Snoke’s breath on his face. 

“She’d never want you, Benjamin. You’re just an _Omega_ , after all. Do you understand?”

With a shaky nod and a murmured , “Yes, Sir,” Ben took the file folder and retreated to the kitchenette to read everything he could about the woman he thought he’d known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title was inspired from the painting _An Eloquent Silence_ by Lawrence Alma-Tadema. Check it out [here](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawrence_Alma-Tadema#/media/File:An_eloquent_silence,_by_Lawrence_Alma-Tadema.jpg)! 
> 
> Alma-Tadema was a 19th century Dutch painter who is best known for his interpretation of luxury and decadence during the Roman Empire. He did crazy things like getting fresh roses sent from the French Rivera WEEKLY so that one of his paintings would accurately show the details of every. single. petal. His paintings were also the inspiration for the interiors of Cair Paravel in the 2005 version of _The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe._
> 
> Please excuse me playing fast and loose with art history/restoration--I haven't been in school for *cough cough mumble* years so things have gotten a little fuzzy.


	3. Temptation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wanted Ben's backstory? Here's Ben's backstory! Our poor boy...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Els again, long may she reign. Also read her fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElegyGoldsmith/pseuds/ElegyGoldsmith)\--she's working on a dark retelling of Sleeping Beauty and it'll blow your minds!

But what did Ben really know about Miss Erso — Rey — anyway? 

His first thought when someone barged into his seminar, _late_ , had been supreme annoyance. Ben didn’t even want to be teaching this course, but with the poor health of his advisor and under the advice of the dean, he agreed to play professor until the school year ended. His PhD program left him with some wiggle room in his schedule, and the stipend he was offered covered his gym membership and car payment.All he had to do was get through fifteen weeks with a group of undergraduates who probably couldn’t explain the difference between _ionic_ and _doric_. 

So when Rey rushed into his seminar late, of course he was annoyed. He noted the stain on her shirt (was that coffee on her tits?), brown hair pulled up in a messy bun, and dirty sneakers. _Just another college student taking this class to fulfill a humanities requirement_. 

When he called her down after class, he was prepared to give her a piece of his mind about the virtues of attending class _on time_. What he didn’t count on were her freckles. Or her hazel eyes, framed by dark lashes.

Or her accent, damn it.

He rushed through his reprimand, unable to restrain himself from running his hand through his hair — a nervous tic he’d had since he was a child. 

With his final, “That’s all,” Ben escaped, shutting the classroom door behind him louder than was strictly necessary. 

He made his way to his small shared office, which was thankfully empty at this hour, and threw his briefcase on his desk, collapsing in his chair. Not for the first time, he was beyond grateful that his septum had been broken years ago in a boxing match, rendering him unable to scent people, regardless of their designation. 

_That’s the last thing I need_ , Ben thought. _No distractions. Only another eighteen months and I’ll defend my dissertation, receive my doctorate, and find work outside of Corellia._

His phone chimed, and Ben fished it out of his pocket, thumbing open a text message.

 **Snoke:**  
Are you coming to the gym today? Remember, I can’t complete your training if you don’t attend your workouts. I expect to see you at 4pm, Benjamin.

Ben quickly tapped out a response. 

**Ben:** **  
** Yes, Sir. I’ll be there. I swear I won’t disappoint you again.

~~~

Ben met JJ Snoke a year into working on his PhD, when the stress from going directly from his graduate program into working on a PhD was becoming too much to handle. His advisor had suggested exercise as a way to let off some steam, and Ben, who took a few boxing classes in high school, made his way to First Order Gym to inquire about a membership. 

Ben didn’t even know who Snoke was when he signed the membership paperwork at the gym; in fact, it took two months before he even met the man. Ben had beaten a powerhouse of a boxer and was sitting in a folding chair that hugged the wall, guzzling water and unwrapping his hands, groaning as the blood made its way back through his aching joints. 

Distracted as he was with opening and closing his fists and twisting his wrists to loosen them, Ben didn’t notice a man coming up next to him until a voice croaked close to his ear. 

“Impressive work out there, my boy. I never imagined a haymaker to the gut could take down my right-hand man — but it appears _your_ right hand was stronger.

Ben stood as the scarred man extended a hand, shocked that someone so gaunt was tall enough to look him directly in the eye. 

"I’m JJ Snoke. I own this gym.”

“Ben Solo. It was a good match — I just got lucky with that last punch.”

Snoke’s eyes seemed to take inventory of Ben, and he nodded once. “Don’t sell yourself short. An Alpha like you, big and tall...why, you have the whole world at your feet.” 

Ben shifted awkwardly, and reached for his water bottle. “I don’t think you know what you’re talking about. I’m not an Alpha.”

Snoke leaned in close, eyes raking over Ben’s body. He could almost feel the weight of the older man’s stare. “Ah. I understand now. You’ve built this body of yours to make up for what biology couldn’t afford you. Genes can betray a person, just like those closest to us, can’t they, my boy?”

He gestured at Ben’s wide shoulders, and dug into his coat pocket, drawing out a business card.

“If you ever want to have some _real_ training, feel free to call me. I know what you’re capable of, and I know that I can help you reach your true potential.” Snoke practically shoved the card at Ben before turning to go, leaving him to consider the meaning behind the other man’s words. 

Ben didn’t look at the business card until he was home, after he dragged himself into the shower to let the hot water take care of his remaining aches and pains. Sitting on his couch with a beer in his hand, he flipped the card over to read the print on the back:

“JJ Snoke  
First Order Industries  
555-518-8342”

Ben rolled his eyes and threw the card onto the cushion next to him. He was used to the sidelong glances and whispers his size encouraged, especially when people found out he was an Omega. 

_What kind of Omega is he? Masquerading as an Alpha since he can’t find one interested in an Omega like him. And he works in art? How...odd..._

Ben stood and shoved the unwelcome thoughts out of his mind. He was who he was, and nothing could change his designation, despite pleading and begging to any higher power he could think of once he presented at seventeen. 

He lived a simple life, studying, writing, working, boxing a few times a week. While he wasn’t necessarily _happy_ , it was enough for now. 

But that nagging thought that he’d had since high school kept cropping up — that maybe, just _maybe_ , he was destined for more than an average Omega. 

He thought about it during a lecture on Byzantine iconography. He thought about it at Trader Joe’s, as he saw couples doing their weekly shopping together. He thought about it before drifting off to sleep, while he stirred spaghetti sauce bubbling away on his stove, and he thought about it while wheeling his garbage bin to the curb. 

But it wasn’t until he went to the gym the next week that he actually _did_ anything about it. 

It wasn’t even hard to find Snoke, Ben discovered. He was sitting on the bleachers, watching the different workouts taking place on the gym floor. Pinstriped suit, hair slicked back to cover a balding head, his facial scar on full display, Snoke looked like a man from a gangster movie.

Before Ben could open his mouth, Snoke held up a hand and stood. 

“Stop. I want you to listen very carefully, Benjamin.”

Ben halted and shifted from one foot to another, half-curious and half-irritated at the way the old man was addressing him. 

“I gave you an offer last week that I do not give just _anyone_ I meet. You bested a man whom most people wouldn’t have even thought to challenge. I offered you training, a way to bring yourself out from what your _designation_ —” Snoke grimaced at the word. “—provided for you.”

He paused, his pale gaze boring into Ben.

“I expected an answer, Benjamin. An answer that never came, and now here I am, still willing to do what it takes...but I need to know that you will be as committed to letting the past die as I will be to helping you achieve greatness. You do want to be _great_ , don’t you, Benjamin?”

Ben narrowed his eyes, feeling put on the spot but still strangely intrigued. 

“Mr. Snoke, I appreciate the offer, and I am interested, but—”

A wheezing laugh cut him off, and Ben jerked his head up to meet Snoke’s face.

“ _But?_ My boy, this is the offer of a lifetime. You’d have my resources at your back. Introductions to people around the city to broaden what I assume is a... _limited_...social circle. My guiding hand on your shoulder to steer you in the right path for your career.” 

“My career? I’m on my way to getting my PhD. I’m only at the gym to get some frustration out when school is too much.” 

At this, Snoke reached his hand out and clasped Ben’s forearm.

“Benjamin. Use your brain and _think_ for a moment. You are an Omega. Lesser than,” Ben stiffened and tried to tug his arm away, but Snoke held firm and repeated, “ _Lesser_ than. But not to me. You can be powerful. Modern pharmaceuticals can hide any number of unworthy traits. Do your fellow students give you the respect that you deserve?” 

Ben lifted his face for the first time as Snoke’s voice softened, his deep golden eyes meeting the angular man’s sunken, red-rimmed ones.

“Ah. They don’t. That’s why you need to join me. I can lead you down this path.” Snoke’s hand left his arm, and stretched out to him like a promise. “Will you join me, Benjamin?”

Ben only hesitated for a moment before grasping it. 

Snoke moved quickly after their hands broke apart, brushing invisible lint off of his pants. “Excellent. I expect to see you here no less than four days a week. I’ll take over your workouts starting tomorrow. Good afternoon, my boy.” 

With that, Snoke walked away, leaving Ben standing alone, wondering what the hell he’d gotten himself into.

~~~

Ben had always had a hard time not throwing himself fully into things. 

When he was six, he spent weeks trying to balance on a two-wheeler, earning scraped knees, elbows, and more than one crack in his helmet. His parents smiled gently, called him “driven” and “excited”. 

In college, once he decided what he wanted to study, Ben fast-tracked himself to graduation, completing two majors and a minor in the same amount of time that his peers were finishing up a single degree. His parents’ smiles turned to concern, and they started asking about his stress levels, extracurriculars, and even encouraged him to take a break — but Ben pressed on, completing two years of graduate school and immediately beginning his PhD program. 

So when Snoke issued him a challenge, Ben wholeheartedly embraced the opportunity to show that he was _indeed_ capable of something more than being booksmart. 

Years went by, and Snoke was by Ben’s side the whole time, pushing him to make something of himself, to be _better_ , to want _more._ Supportive to a fault, Snoke was there to sympathize with Ben when depression and anxiety reared their ugly heads, and referred him to a psychiatrist who quickly prescribed medication before sending Ben back to the gym. 

Snoke was there when Ben’s parents once again questioned their son’s ability to juggle everything — and he was there when Ben slammed the phone facedown on a table one last time and refused to take their calls. 

As Ben trudged through academia, Snoke urged him on, calling out all the wrongs that Ben was seemingly subjected to: his advisor rescheduling a meeting ( _No respect for Omegas_ ); a class Ben assisted with devolving into an unmitigated disaster of apathetic undergrads ( _No one appreciates an academic, Benjamin_ ); books Ben needing for his research having to be sent from another university (L _ibrarians, now those are the lowest of the low, don’t you agree?_ ). 

Soon the only voice Ben heard was Snoke’s, constantly telling him what to do, how to do it, and exactly why he’d never be worthy of anything. Ben diligently swallowed the top-of-the-line suppressants and blockers that he was given, and when his expected Heat passed with nothing more than a mild headache and a penchant for wearing comfortable hoodies, Snoke nodded at him in approval. 

Ben’s body changed as Snoke’s constant insinuations became a part of him. The chatter was in his head, constantly telling him that if he _must_ be an Omega, at least he can be a strong one — and Ben worked out until his body screamed for relief. 

Broken knuckles and deep bruises became his accessories; he couldn’t hide them, anyway. His body grew, chest, calves and thighs becoming thick with corded muscles. His biceps strained against his work clothing, and his shoulders broadened even more, lending him an intimidating air for the first time in his life. 

His studies changed, too. No longer did the identification and authentication of art command his sole attention. Even if he wanted to focus on the most recent discoveries or the newest innovations, Snoke kept Ben’s mind at the gym, on him, on training. 

_No more books and studying and libraries, you must portray yourself the way you want people to see you_ — _and don’t you want people to see you as a strong, capable man? Not a sniveling librarian, Benjamin, locked up in a museum with relics?_

Something had to give, and one day, it did. 

Three years after meeting Snoke and a year from being done with school forever, Ben Solo locked his office for the last time, dropped the keys into the outstretched hand of his very unimpressed and angry advisor, and made his way to his trainer to start a new life as a college dropout.

~~~

But nothing ever stays the same, and the same was true when Ben joined Snoke full-time. 

Ben was hired as a Customs agent (with more than a few strings pulled, he suspected), and quickly discovered that Snoke spent most of his time at the airport, sitting silently in his back office that overlooked the tarmac on one side and the terminal on the other. 

Snoke needed Ben at his desk all day, so there were no more boxing matches; the only workouts Ben got were the ones he did on the floor of his apartment every morning. Snoke’s comments changed from ridiculing Ben for his interest in “Omega subjects” like art to pointed remarks at Ben being soft, past his prime — a washout with no prospects other than the ones Snoke deemed worthy.

Ben was alone. No friends or colleagues (unless you count that utter asshole Hux who always skulked around Snoke), no hobbies, and no interests. He’d been forged into a man of Snoke’s making, one who stood tall but empty, appearing to be just another Alpha in the crowd — because, of course, it wouldn’t _do_ to have an Omega working for a man like Snoke. 

~~~

Years passed, and Ben retreated further into himself. He could do his job half-asleep, and sometimes he caught himself dozing — or even worse — watching the airplanes take off and land, wishing he was anywhere but where he was, but knowing that he wasn’t worthy or capable of such adventure. 

He belonged to Snoke.

When he took too long watching a plane bound for Hawaii, wistfully thinking about sandy beaches, hammocks, and swimming in sultry water, Snoke materialized next to him as though reading his thoughts.

“One would think you want to leave, Benjamin, given all the time you’re spending watching the planes fly away,” the old man hissed. “But you know as well as I do that if you leave, you’ll be just another worthless, unmated male Omega.” He paused long enough to force Ben to meet his disdainful glare. “No one wants you now, and no one will have you in the future. I’ve made you into a man who can pass for Alpha, but without me, you’ll be nothing again.” 

Ben began to bristle at Snoke’s running commentary until the words truly sunk in. 

_No one wants me. Even if they did, I wouldn’t be worthy of them, and they’d leave me as soon as they discovered I was an Omega masquerading as an Alpha. I’m nothing. Nothing._

_Nothing._

_Nothing._

He nodded, and turned his back to the windows, promising himself that it would be the last time he’d have delusions of grandeur. 

Two weeks later, Rey Erso walked into the airport for the first time, and his world shifted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title came to mind after seeing the absolutely mind-boggling painting by Roberto Ferri called _Fallen Angel_. The painting is modern, but Ferri takes inspiration from Baroque masters like Caravaggio. His paintings are hyper-realistic and absolutely beautiful. You can find him on Instagram [here](https://www.instagram.com/robertoferri_official/?hl=en), and I highly suggest giving him a follow. He posts sped-up videos of him paintings and they're amazing.


	4. Power

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's start to earn our E rating, shall we, bbys?

After Ben read and reread the file that Snoke had given him, he couldn’t think of anything else. 

Was this really what Rey was doing for a living? What if this was a mistake? Was she truly only talking to him to keep his attention away from her documentation, so he’d let her pass without question? Or could she have _actually_ been flirting with him, telling him bits about her adventures in the hopes he’d engage in stilted conversation? 

Ben refused to consider whether that was because he wanted to keep Rey safe, or because he couldn’t bear it if Snoke _was_ right about her only flirting with him as a game. It had taken weeks for him to even _look_ at her when she spoke — and now he hoped he never saw her again. 

~~~

The days went by without any sightings of Rey. Ben rushed into work every Monday, praying that Rey hadn’t flown in while he was off for the weekend, and hoping with his next breath that she _had_ so he didn’t have to see her face when she was confronted with her supposed illegal activities.

Of course, Ben’s luck couldn’t hold forever, and one Friday afternoon he looked up to see Rey’s smiling face before him as his Customs line dwindled to a trickle. 

He took in her oversized tunic and leggings, the baseball cap she wore with her ponytail pulled through the back, and the trendy sneakers on her feet. She looked tired, and Ben focused on the dimple in her cheek that moved while she spoke before realizing that _shit_ , he had a job to do. 

_Snoke wants her_. 

Ben struggled mentally, completely oblivious to Rey’s retelling of a plumbing disaster at her hotel in Prague while he tried to grab her passport and forms to hurry her through his line. 

He interrupted her, his voice coming out harsher than he intended: “Anything to declare?”

“Oh! Uh, nope, just clothes and toiletries. I sent home a marionette to my nephew, though — well, he’s not really _my_ nephew, my friends have this kid—”

“Are you _sure_ you don’t have anything to declare, Rey?” He licked his lips. “You can’t think of _anything_ you have in your suitcase?”

She cocked her head, brow furrowing as she stared at him. “No, I’m pretty sure I don’t have anything else in my bag, Ben. You’re acting weird … are you ok?”

His shaky, sweaty hands were threatening to betray both of them; he shuffled through her papers to try and make sure everything was signed and stamped before—

“Miss Erso. I believe we have some … business to discuss.” Snoke’s voice floated from behind Ben, sending a shiver of anxiety up his spine as he half-turned to stare at his employer. “We’d be more comfortable discussing this behind closed doors.” 

Snoke gestured to the wall behind Ben, a single door hiding a hallway lined with offices.

Ben stood, gulping. “Sir, she said she doesn’t have anything to declare, and the backscatter machine didn’t show anything … maybe … could you? —be wrong? I mean, about this. Maybe she doesn’t—”

Snoke leveled his furious gaze at him. “Benjamin, you work for _me_ and when I tell you what I know to be true, I expect you to believe me. _Now_ . Close your line, help Miss Erso with her belongings—” Here Snoke sneered. “—and _follow_ . _Me_.” 

Snoke turned and barrelled his way through the door, leaving it to swing slowly shut behind him, the quiet sweep of the hinges beckoning them to follow. 

Rey’s face drained of all color. 

Her eyes darted from Ben to the door and back again as he reluctantly rounded his desk, placing a “Line Closed” sign on its surface, and stooped to pick up her suitcase. He gestured to her carry-on, hanging off her shoulder, “Can you just...give me that, too?” 

Her hand tightened on the strap, refusing to cede the bag to him as she hissed, “Ben, what is this? What’s going on?”

Clearly she wasn’t going to hand it over without a fight. Ben wrapped his fingers around her bicep, maneuvering her slight frame in the direction of the door. 

“Rey. Just… It’ll be ok. You said you don’t have anything, and I believe you. I do. But Snoke — Mr. Snoke, my boss — says … well, he doesn’t believe you. We’ll get this straightened out, Rey, and you can go home — a-and everything will go back to normal, I promise.”

Rey’s body was stiff under Ben’s hand, but she allowed herself to be escorted through the doorway after Snoke.

They walked together silently until Ben came to a stop at a door halfway down the hallway. Rey dug her heels into the industrial carpet as he turned and tugged her closer. 

“Don’t do this, Ben. _Please_ don’t go this way. You’re scaring me,” Rey managed in a low voice. She looked up at him imploringly, her lashes wet with unshed tears. 

He reached for her arm, squeezing gently in what he hoped was a comforting gesture as he reached for the handle and yanked the door open.

Ben stepped back, encouraging Rey to go in first, but she didn’t move, wild eyes taking in everything before her. 

Not that there was much to see.

~~~

The room was small, and unfurnished save for a table shoved against the far wall. It didn’t _look_ like an interrogation room on one of those police dramas on TV — and the realization made Rey relax ever-so-slightly. Another door was set in the back wall, leading to — a closet? Yet another room? Closed as it was, it was impossible to tell. Rey sniffed imperceptibly, the smell of industrial cleaners causing her nose to wrinkle.

Snoke was leaning against the table, legs casually crossed at the ankle, looking nothing more like a man who had all the time in the world and no qualms at making everyone match his glacial pace. 

Ben gently led Rey into the room behind him, and the door slammed shut in her face as she spun in a vain, last-minute bid for escape. 

“Now, now. “ Snoke’s voice echoed in the spartan room. “This will all be over shortly, Miss Erso, if you just cooperate. You see, I’ve accumulated quite a bit of evidence that suggests that you’re … shall we say … on the wrong side of the law. Am I correct?” 

He drew closer to Rey as he spoke until he was directly in front of her, forcing her to crane her neck upwards to look at him. 

Snoke gestured to the man beside her. “Benjamin here is a model employee. He follows orders. He obeys me. He doesn’t question me. Which is why I am asking him to help me resolve this matter, right here, right now.” 

Ben stiffened, his jaw tightening at the seemingly complimentary words. He looked away from Rey, like he was deliberately trying to evade her pleading look. 

Snoke reached for Rey’s belongings, taking the suitcase from Ben’s limp hand and tearing Rey’s bag off her shoulder. “We won’t be needing these, I don’t think. After all, the machines already showed us what’s inside.” 

He reached for Rey to draw her further into the room, but she quickly strode around him, back straight, trying to make her eyes flash fire. 

Snoke snickered, an ugly, grating sound. “Ah, there it is, that delectable spit of hope. Your attitude won’t change the outcome, my girl.” He turned away, his confidence as disgusting as his unsuppressed scent. “Benjamin! Come over here and … _inspect_ your friend. We must make sure she isn’t hiding anything on her person, mustn't we?” 

Ben’s head jerked up at hearing his name, and he shuffled forward a few steps.

“Mr. Snoke, is this...is this really necess—”

“BENJAMIN,” Snoke roared, startling both Rey and Ben. “You WILL do what I say. You WILL search this girl until I am satisfied with the results, and you will NOT question my authority again, do I make myself clear?” 

Ben barely moved, nothing more than a single twitch of his head that could have been mistaken for a nod. He slowly moved to stand behind Rey as Snoke retreated to lean once again on the table, as though the older man was content to watch the show unfolding before him. 

Ben murmured, “I’m sorry, Rey. I’ll be quick,” as he reached out to touch her, waiting for her jerky nod before placing the back of his hands on her sides. 

He smoothed his hands down her body from armpits to waist, then from hips to ankles. Rey stared down at him, taking in his lips (pursed in concentration? Or was it frustration?), hair (thick and dark and _soft_ looking), and his cheekbones (high and angular, but _red_ like the tips of his ears).

He was as humiliated as she was, or maybe even more so.

She breathed slowly in through her nose and out through her mouth, catching Snoke’s scent as she did — the self-satisfied smell of a man who thought she’d fallen into his web. She angled her nose towards Ben’s neck as he patted along her waist, trying to capture even a hint of his scent in an attempt to avoid Snoke’s sickly smell. Failing that, Rey resolved to only breathe shallowly through her mouth, but the idea that she was now tasting that scent was even worse.

Ben suddenly crouched in front of her, his eyes on the ground as he muttered, “I have to touch your legs, now. The insides, I mean.” 

His thick fingers brushed higher and higher on her thighs and she widened her stance to make room for his hands. Ben’s intake of breath was all the response he gave, and she stared at the top of his head even harder, mentally urging herself to remember what was actually happening. A pat-down, and a creepy old man watching the two of them like they were the best floor show he’d ever attended.

Ben stood, and moved to stand behind Rey as he passed his hands over her shoulders and down to the small of her back, hovering above her ass until Snoke hissed, “By all means, continue, Benjamin.” 

Ben crouched again, and so softly that Rey could barely feel him, patted the back of her thighs. His fingers grazed the underside of her rump, whisper-gentle and Rey let out a shaky breath as he continued further upward to less dangerous parts of her body. 

“Nothing, Sir” Ben stood facing Snoke, fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “She isn’t hiding anything.”

“Interesting. Very interesting. Don’t think this lets you off the hook yet, Miss Erso.” The old man pursed his wrinkled lips. “ After all, you could be hiding things...elsewhere.” 

Ben jolted in surprise and opened his mouth as though to argue, but Rey beat him to it. 

“Excuse me? A cavity search? You have GOT to be kidding me. I walked through your goddamn machines out there and they didn’t find _anything_ because I’m not hiding _anything..._ ” 

Thankfully, Ben cut in as she trailed off. “I refuse. I am not going to do that to Rey —Miss Erso. I won’t.”

Snoke glared at Ben and paced forward until the two men were chest-to-chest. “Benjamin. You will do what I tell you, as you have been doing for the past eight years. Remember who you are, _Omega_.”

Rey snapped her head around to stare at Ben in openmouthed shock, but it was as though she was invisible to Snoke. 

“You’re nobody. Your own parents didn’t believe in you, and I had to step in and pick up the pieces when your life was such a colossal failure that you had to be _medicated_. Now who are you?” Snoke sniffed haughtily. “A washed-up shell of a man, worth nothing to anyone. I will repeat myself only once more. Perform. The. Search.” 

Snoke checked his watch, grimacing. 

“I have a previous engagement to attend to, but I expect to have this taken care of before I return, with all appropriate paperwork on my desk for my review. And at _that_ point, Benjamin, we are going to have a nice long chat about your future with me.” 

With that, he shouldered past Ben and strode out, the tapping of his shoes echoing down the hallway until the door slammed, leaving Ben and Rey in silence. 

Rey turned to Ben, reaching out to him but stopping just before touching his arm. “Ben. You know you don’t have to do what he says, right? That you’re _more_ than what he says? Your designation doesn’t have _anything_ to do with your worth—”

“Rey.” His soft voice barely carried over hers, but her mouth slammed shut. “Rey. I have to. He’s … He’s done everything for me. And if you’re telling the truth, then this will be all over soon and you can put it behind you. You won’t ever have to see me again.” He hung his head, hair falling over his forehead and eyes, but he met her gaze through his bangs with the defeated look of a puppy swatted too many times with a rolled-up newspaper. “I’m so sorry, Rey.”

The deafening fear that Rey felt around Snoke was tamped down into a murmur of anxiety as she took in Ben’s defeated attitude. She scrubbed at her eyes with her palms, and nodded briskly. “Fine. If that’s how it’s going to be, then let’s get on with it.” 

She toed off her shoes and socks, and reached under her tunic to pull down her leggings and panties. Even though the tunic covered her to her mid-thigh, Ben stared at her in horrified shock. 

She sighed and rolled her eyes at him, scoffing, “ _Honestly_ , Ben, how else do you think it’s going to work?”

He turned swiftly around and strode to the door on the back wall, pulling it open with more force than was strictly necessary, and began rummaging through what Rey could see were boxes on shelves. A supply closet, then; at least she didn’t have to worry about anyone bursting in from that side of the room.

She slowly approached him on bare feet, and could hear him muttering to himself as he sorted through boxes of … gloves?

“They never have my fucking _size_ in these things, I always ask for the extra-larges, but fucking Hux never orders what I ask him to—” 

He stopped when Rey put a small hand on his back.

“Ben. What are you doing?”

Only Ben Solo could straighten and keep his shoulders hunched at the same time “Gloves. Got to wear gloves to, uh … you know—” 

“Are they latex?” Rey asked quietly, her hand still gently pressed to Ben’s back. 

He peered over his shoulder at her, looking quizzical.

“Shit, I don’t know.” Ben turned back to the closet and grabbed a box, reading the label. “Uh, yeah, I guess they are. Is that…?” he trailed off as Rey chuckled awkwardly and took a few steps back.

“I’m allergic to latex. Can’t even use band-aids. Looks like we’ll be doing this—” She gestured between them with raised eyebrows. “—without protection.” 

Ben’s eyes widened and he breathed out, “Rey, you can’t possibly — I— I’m sure I can find something that would work. Maybe I could check the break room, or I could call Hux…” He turned back to the closet and frantically began rifling through everything a second time.

Rey turned and made her way to the table, perching herself gingerly on top of it with her lower legs dangling over the edge. A few deep breaths later, she announced, much more confidently than she felt, “Ben. I’m ready. Can we just _do_ this?” 

Ben’s back stiffened at her words, and he slowly turned and met her gaze. His hand came up and ran through his hair, tugging at the roots a bit — as if the slight sting of pain would wake him up from what surely must be a nightmare.

“Are you sure, Rey? We could figure something else out. I can find Hux, or I could just _tell_ Snoke it was done, and you could leave. You’d have to avoid the airport after that, but you flew into Yavin before, I think you could—”

~~~

“Ben.” Her low voice interrupted him, cutting off his rambling thoughts. “It’s fine. This is your job. I don’t want you to be in trouble with your boss, anyway. This will keep you safe, and I trust you to be quick and gentle.”

With that proclamation, she opened her knees slightly, and tilted her chin in a _come here_ gesture.

Ben gulped and nodded shakily. He turned back to the closet, placing the box of gloves carefully back on the shelf and shutting the door with a gentle click. 

His mind raced as he drew near her again. _I can’t believe I’m going to touch her like this and maybe this won’t be the weirdest fucking moment of my life._

As he stood in front of his former student, seated on the table as if it were her throne and she was holding court, he paused to consider the best course of action. 

_Should I be standing? Should she? Or sitting? Or bent over?_

That last thought was summarily rejected as Ben desperately clung to his final shred of dignity. He gestured awkwardly at Rey, who was gazing up at him with wide eyes. 

“Uhh, you might need to, um, move your shirt? And scoot to the edge? Of the table?”

Rey’s cheeks pinked, and she tugged the hem of her tunic up from where she was sitting on it, giving him a glimpse of her creamy thigh and hip. She inched toward the edge of the table, suddenly stopping to fling out a hand toward her carry-on bag.

“Oh! I have coconut oil. To, um, help. Normally I just use it for my hands while I fly — dry airplane air and all, but this is as good a use as any, I suppose…” 

She trailed off, and Ben reached for the bag, clumsily pawing through it as she directed him to a tiny zipper on an inner pocket. Ben drew out a little pot of coconut oil ( _Hundreds of uses!_ the label helpfully announced) and set it on the table next to Rey’s hip. 

Rey twisted the lid off the pot of oil, scooped out a small amount and, after gesturing for Ben’s hand, dumped the quickly melting oil into his palm.

“There. Now let it melt and coat your fingers…” 

Ben shifted nervously. A beautiful woman was half naked in front of him, and _this_ was the way that he was able to get close to her. Somehow Snoke was still pulling the strings. 

He rolled his shoulders back and crouched down in front of Rey, looking up at her before saying, “I promise I’m not going to try and hurt you. This is just … it’s just my job, nothing more. Don’t be afraid.”

Rey drew her lower lip into her mouth and nodded at him. She opened her knees even more, her hands bunching her top up so Ben could move closer.

Ben placed the hand that wasn’t dripping in oil on her knee and shifted to kneel between her legs, blushing when he realized that it put him at face level with her cunt. He was unable to look away, and he drank in the sight of her — all pink lips, trimmed hair, and a tiny clit barely visible above her slit. 

He realized he was staring when Rey softly cleared her throat and weakly waved her hand in his direction. 

Startled, he drew his hand up. After looking for Rey’s nod of permission, he brought it to her cunt, careful to draw his finger between her lips, spreading the oil around before gently pushing a fingertip just inside of her. 

Her tight heat surrounded him, and Ben paused briefly to let her adjust to his finger. Rey stiffened at the intrusion, and let out a shaky breath, fingers tightening on her tunic. Ben withdrew his finger and instinctively stroked her thigh, trying to soothe away any pain and awkwardness. 

Rey grasped his wrist with her hand and brought it back to her center, squeezing gently, before leaning back and resting her weight on her elbows as she reclined on the tabletop. 

Ben continued to stroke between Rey’s legs, and soon a fingertip turned into his whole index finger, and then, before long, he added his middle finger. His mind was a mess — he tried to focus on Snoke’s task while also marveling at how _tight_ and _wet_ Rey had gotten. 

He twisted his wrist and gently scissored his fingers, opening her — until a broken moan from Rey broke the careful silence.

Ben yanked his fingers out of Rey’s cunt and scrambled backward as she sat up, her face flaming red. 

“You were— you— you were right. You’re not carrying anything.” 

He moved to wipe his hand off on his pants, but Rey’s voice stopped him short. 

“Lick them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's title, Power, was inspired by [this portrait of Queen Anne](https://www.nationalgalleries.org/art-and-artists/1738/queen-anne-when-princess-denmark-1665-%E2%80%93-1714) (when she was the Princess of Denmark). She looks like such a confident, sexy woman, right? It's what I imagine Rey to be channeling when she's beckoning Ben to come closer. :) 
> 
> Rumors swirl about Anne because of her potential relationships with two women--she called Lady Frances Apsley "her husband" and also begged Lady Sarah Churchill to always be by her side. Anne wrote to Sarah, saying, "Oh come to me tomorrow as soon as you can that I may cleave myself to you". Seems romantic, right?--they even gave each other nicknames (Mrs Morley and Mrs Freeman) so they could create an equal relationship with each other, not one between a Queen and one of her ladies. However, Sarah tried to influence Anne too much and fell out of favor--she went on to attempt to blackmail the Queen by threatening to publish copies of their letters. Sarah was replaced by her cousin, Abigail, and Sarah’s political allies spread rumors that Anne and Abigail’s relationship was physical, talking of ‘dark deeds at night’. History is legit like a show on the CW sometimes and I am HERE for it. 
> 
> Anne was also incredibly effective as a ruler in her own right, and she supported the Acts of Union of 1707, which united the crowns of Scotland and England and created the United Kingdom. So, yay Anne! Living her best life in the 17th/18th centuries, and looking fab while doing it.


	5. Star-Crossed

He didn’t think he could have possibly heard her correctly—there was no way in hell he could have heard what he thought he heard, no way at all — yet Rey’s hand flashed out and grasped him by the chin, tilting his head up to meet her gaze, all fire and heat.

“ _ Omega _ . Lick. Them.” 

Rey’s voice cut through the wild thoughts inside Ben’s mind, smoothing the roughness out into a single attainable objective: simply lift your hand to your lips, open your mouth, and put them inside. 

He could do that, Ben thought. He was good at following directions, at obeying. 

Ben slowly brought his fingers to his lips — and as soon as he placed the digits in his mouth, his world exploded. Her taste was heady and overwhelming, the musky tang of  _ Rey _ instantly becoming as preciou sas anything he’d ever experienced.

His head was consumed by fog, his mind a complete blank. For the first time since a fist slammed into his nose all those years ago and he felt the snapping of bone, his sinuses opened. 

With his first inhaled breath, he knew he was a changed man.

Rey was the sweetest caramel, undercut with the bitterness of a perfectly brewed cup of coffee. Warm sunshine was there too, and the salt of the sea— yes, he could practically hear the waves crashing on the shore. 

Her smell awakened something in Ben Solo, and nothing would be the same again.

Ben wrapped his tongue around his fingers and sucked them deeper into his mouth, anxious to drink down every drop of Rey’s essence. The base of his skull began to tingle, and his glands felt tight and itchy. 

He drew his fingers from his mouth to bring them to his neck, accidentally brushing his mating gland in his haste. He hadn’t had cause to even  _ consider the damned thing  _ for ages, but that simple touch jolted his body like an electrical current. 

His cock filled with heat, and his suit felt too tight even though he knew it hung on him like a bathrobe. Ben loosened his tie and tugged at the neckline of his button-down, feeling warmer than he had in years. He felt inflamed, every inch of his body was tingly and at attention and  _ hot _ . Sweat beaded on his forehead and neck, and soon he was shrugging off his suit jacket in an attempt to get comfortable. 

Horrified, he realized that not only was he  _ hard _ , he was leaking. 

Copiously. 

~~~

Rey sat on the table, still shocked by her use of an Alpha command — a light one, only a nudge, really, but  _ still  _ — to make Ben Solo lick his fingers clean of her slick. It was downright brazen, especially given their compromised circumstances. 

Ben was still on the ground at her feet, and she watched him, the man wide-eyed and pawing at his tie, drawing it over his head while simultaneously trying to unbutton his shirt. Rey hopped down and reached a shaky hand toward him, smoothing her palm along his cheek and tangling her fingers in his hair. 

Ben leaned into her touch, moaning softly and inching towards her, still on his knees. One of Ben’s hands covered his crotch, palming and clutching at the bulge Rey could clearly see as a damp stain spread on the fabric.

“Please,” he moaned. “Oh fuck, please…” 

Rey petted him gently, rubbing his scalp and drawing his head closer until he leaned heavily against her belly, wrapping his arms around her legs in a tight embrace. She grazed the back of his neck with her fingernails before bringing her fingers to the side of his neck to gently press his gland. 

Suddenly Rey’s nose was filled with the smell of Ben Solo, as though the soft touch triggered a rush of pheremones. Cedar, cloves, a whiff of leather … and something else, something familiar. The smell of a walk in the autumn, leaves crunching underfoot when the breeze turned cool. 

Rey could have bathed in that smell forever and still begged for more. She would have drunk it happily, holding the flavor on her tongue like it was an expensive glass of red wine. Rey already  _ felt _ halfway drunk, her head spinning and movements languid.

The smell hit her somewhere primal, and every nerve crackling with the awareness that he was  _ hers _ , to mate with him, to claim him, to  _ take  _ her Omega. She felt her panties soaking in response to his closeness, his smell — his cock, even, still trapped by layers of fabric.

_ Control,  _ she thought.  _ I’ve got to have control.  _

Ben grunted his displeasure as she gently pushed him away, one of his hands clutching at her as he humped into the other, desperate for some sort of touch.

“Ben.” 

He struggled with his belt, trying to slide the end through the buckle.

“ _ Ben. _ ” There was still no indication that he’d even heard her, and he scrabbled with his belt, pulling it through the loops of his pants with harsh yanks.

“ _ Omega. You will listen.” _

Immediately Ben stilled, hands frozen as he was about to tackle his pants button and zipper. His hips jerked in a rhythm of their own, slick seeping through the fabric nearly down to his knees. 

Rey inhaled slowly and took his hands in hers, pulling them away from his pants. “Ben, do you hear me? I need you to let me know that you can hear me.” 

He looked up at her, worrying his lip between his teeth as he nodded and gave her hands a tight squeeze. 

“You’re in heat, Ben.” Their eyes met, his so blown out so she could only see a faint ring of gold around the deep black of his pupils. 

“Ye-Yes,” Ben managed to mutter as his huge body shivered with cramps

“Do you … do you have anyone I can call for you?” Rey’s stomach plummeted, dreading the answer: “Your boss?”

Ben’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. One of his hands retreated from hers to rub his cock through his pants, spreading the potent smell of his slick through the air, all spicysweet and  _ delicious _ . 

Then he shook his head — and before Rey could move he surged up to kiss her.

It wasn’t a good kiss. He was on his knees, clutching her shoulder and pulling her down, their teeth clacked together and their noses bumped — but worst of all was the aching in Rey’s chest as she pulled away, trying to maintain a semblance of propriety. 

Ben moaned, and any sense of control that Rey was holding onto evaporated at that sound. 

She was on her knees in an instant, grasping his shirt and tugging him forward so their lips locked again. She coaxed his lips open with her tongue, and as she licked into his mouth he  _ melted  _ into her. 

Rey traced the sharp points of his teeth with her tongue before stroking against his, and her soft movements brought forth another groan from the back of Ben’s throat. The smell of his slick was overwhelming, and she could feel her nipples harden against him as he rubbed against her. 

Ben ground his cock into her belly — and without skipping a beat she tugged his shirt out of the waistband of his slacks, ripping buttons off in her haste to pull it down his shoulders and leave him shirtless before her. With his broad shoulders and hair curling with sweat, Ben looked positively feral. 

His hips were still moving, chasing any sort of pressure that he could find, dampening Rey’s tunic as she smoothed her palms over his chest. She stroked his pecs and abs, tracing feather-light lines over his belly as her fingers found the trail of hair leading into his pants. 

She paused on the button on his slacks and drew one hand to the back of his neck, fisting his hair until their lips separated and she could look him in the eyes. His chest was heaving and his eyes were wild, darting from her lips to her throat and back again. He was no longer the imperious, commanding presence she remembered from her classroom—no,  _ this _ Ben Solo hung on her every movement and looked at her as if she hung the stars. 

“Are you sure?" Rey whispered, tightening her grip on his hair to keep his attention. 

At that question, Ben grabbed Rey's hand and shoved it, hard, against his clothed cock with a grunt. 

Rey squeezed the hard, thick line of his erection, gasping as a dribble of slick oozed its way through the fabric of Ben's pants and onto her eager palm. 

~~~

Ben felt nothing and everything. All his blood had long since rushed south and his cock was absolutely  _ throbbing _ in his pants. His mind was swimming in an ocean of Rey’s hand, Rey’s kisses, Rey’s  _ scent _ . 

Rey's hand squeezing, stroking, and then … nothing. She wasn't touching him anymore.

Ben's hips jerked to follow her retreating movement, grunting with frustration.

"Shhhhh," she hummed, pulling the button through the buttonhole on Ben's slacks so  _ slowly _ that Ben thought he would pass out or die before she touched him again — and then her hand tucked itself underneath the waistband of his briefs. Her sharp little nails scratched through his hair, and then — at last — Rey wrapped her fingers around his cock and  _ squeezed. _

Ben gasped as a slick gushed out of him and down his thighs at her touch. His hands shook as he grappled with his pants, shoving them down to his knees as Rey began to stroke him in earnest. His boxer briefs were next, unceremoniously yanked down to his mid-thighs with her help. 

He stayed on his knees in front of Rey, her hand still pumping up and down his cock as his hips moved in tandem, chasing the pleasure that flooded him. Ben was grunting in time to her strokes now, his hands eagerly pawing at her breasts through her shirt, trying to tug it up so he could touch the nipples he just  _ knew _ were stiff and waiting for him.

Rey’s other hand drifted lower to cup his balls, and she gently traced her way back to the sensitive patch of skin directly behind them. By now, slick had run its way down his thighs, making wet trails along his pale skin — and she added a twist of her wrist to her movement up and down his cock, smearing even more fluid along his length as he shuddered and shook beneath her ministrations. 

~~~

The squelching of slick against skin mixed with Ben's groans, and the twinned sounds hit Rey deep in her core, making her cunt clench around nothing. 

She leaned close to whisper into his ear. “Will you come for me, Ben? You’re so close, aren’t you? Just — moments — away—”

With her final word, she locked her mouth over his gland, letting her tongue trace its shape before sucking hard. 

Ben’s hips fucked up into her hand as he came with a howl, and streaks of his spend coated her hand and covered her chest as he moaned, “Alpha … oh, Alpha…  _ Rey…” _

She froze, blood turning to ice in her veins even as her hand was still wrapped around his twitching cock.

He called her Alpha. Not only that, but he said her  _ name _ . 

This was wrong. This was taking advantage of someone in a vulnerable position, someone who couldn’t control themselves, based simply on what their biology told their body to do. 

This was what bad Alphas did. They took because they could, because someone told them they were  _ entitled _ to it. Rey had worked her whole life to avoid falling into that stereotype, and here she had opened herself to the dark side for a pair of pretty eyes.

She pulled away.

Rey stood abruptly, backing away, and tried not to notice Ben’s shocked face, his eyes widening even more, probably with horror at the thought that he’d somehow displeased his Alpha. 

But she wasn’t his Alpha. She  _ wasn’t _ .

She shoved past him, snatching up her bags and racing to the door before he could do or say something to make her want to stay even more than she already did.

Yet she didn’t have enough control over herself to keep from looking back as she wrenched the door open.

Ben Solo, kneeling on the ground, his pants pushed down, his shirt off. Ben Solo, chest covered in cum, thighs wet with slick with a softening cock hanging low. Ben Solo, leaning on one hand with the other outstretched towards her in supplication. Ben Solo, groaning the word, “No,” while she turned her back on him and ran down the hallway. 

Rey didn’t even notice that she wasn’t wearing shoes or pants as she waited for Finn to pick her up after her frantic phone call. She didn’t notice how her hands shook as she popped three emergency blockers from her carry-on bag, swallowing them dry. She didn’t notice Poe and Finn exchanging worried looks as they wrapped her in a blanket and bundled her into the back of the sedan. 

And she definitely didn’t notice herself mouthing Ben’s name over and over as she rocked herself back and forth, sobs racking her body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...so...that just happened. Take heart, my loves! I swear all will be well. Eventually. 
> 
> This chapter’s title comes from Frank Bernard Dicksee’s (yes, that’s his real name) piece called Romeo and Juliet, which you can find [here.](https://artuk.org/discover/artworks/romeo-and-juliet-17438)
> 
> I **cannot** overstate the fact that while the two lovers in the painting met with rather tragic ends, the same will not be so for our Ben and Rey. I couldn’t do that to them! Mostly I just like the painting because a) her hair is #mermaidgoals, b) his thighs in those tights, and c) I am dreaming of traveling to literally anywhere other than my house where I have been cooped up for the past 4 months with my rabid children, and that balcony looks like a delightful place to read some fic and take a late afternoon nap.


	6. Melancholy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diving into some sad Ben Solo hours with this one, fam. Promise he'll get through it, though!

Ben had no idea how he got from the airport to his apartment. He assumed he had driven, because when he peeked out the window a week later his car was (badly) parked in his usual spot, but he had no memory whatsoever of actually driving it. 

No one bothered him at home, because — well, who was there to know he was home? The days had melted together as he lay in bed — either comatose with grief and shock, staring at the ceiling fighting nausea, or vainly, frantically jerking himself to make the  _ wanting  _ stop. His head pounded with dehydration, his belly ached with hunger, and his cock was so fucking tender that even his softest pair of sweatpants felt like sandpaper against his skin. His eyes swelled shut from crying, and his throat was raw from shouting for  _ her. _ For the woman who left him.

The knock at the door had been a relief, a reminder that he wasn’t completely alone in the world, but he’d opened it to find a manila envelope propped against the jamb. Ben couldn’t see anyone down the hallway, so he gingerly took the envelope into his apartment, setting it on the dining table as he shuffled into the kitchen for a cup of tea to calm his churning stomach. 

Ben forced himself to leave the envelope until after his kettle boiled and his tea had steeped for the appropriate three minutes. He didn’t look at it while he added a spoonful of sugar and stirred. He didn’t think about it while he opened a milk carton with the intention of adding a splash to his mug, stopping barely in time as he caught the “use by” date. He didn’t consider who left it while he ran the tap and dumped the curdled milk down the drain, throwing the empty carton into the recycling bin as he rounded the kitchen island with his tea in hand. 

Because it was obvious who left it. There was only one person who knew where he lived: the person who’d helped him get the apartment when he left his PhD program and wanted to live farther from campus. 

Snoke.

Ben slowly opened the envelope, tearing the paper to shreds as he did, and upended it. A thumb drive fell out, clattering on the table top, and a piece of folded paper floated down to rest on top of it. 

Ben opened the paper first, grimacing at the words written on it in a thick black scrawl. 

**“You’re no longer wanted.** **  
** — **J.J. S.”**

The paper crumpled as Ben’s fingers tightened around it — and before he knew what he was doing, he  _ roared _ with anger and brought his fist down, smashing through the cheap IKEA table and sending his mug flying. 

Ben shot to his feet, the chair toppling out from behind him as he spun and stalked his way into his bedroom, where a punching bag hung in the corner. He didn’t bother with gloves but pummeled the bag with his bare knuckles, bellowing as it swung rhythmically on its chain. It wasn’t until he dashed the back of his hand across his eyes that he realized his knuckles were split and bleeding, salty tears stinging the fresh wounds. He sank to the ground, gasping for breath, and he sobbed until his legs were numb and his tears ran dry. 

Ben remembered the flash drive only after he dragged himself to the bathroom to dab at his knuckles with a towel which got promptly tossed on the tile floor.. He staggered into the living room on shaky legs, pawing through the splintered remains of his table until he found the metal drive. He threw himself onto his couch, pulled his laptop onto his lap and shoved the drive into the USB port, clicking on the icon that appeared on the screen. 

A video player launched itself, and words scrolled across a black background.

**_You were offered everything, and you wasted my good faith. In the end, you are a weak-minded, pathetic child who is the embodiment of everything that your designation is expected to be._ **

**_All professional ties between us are dissolved forthwith. You may consider your encounter with that unnatural Alpha female as your severance._ **

The words faded, giving way to surveillance footage. He didn’t recognize himself at first, but as soon as he saw Rey perch on the observation table, his vision began to blur.

Everything that had happened between Ben and his former student in the little room at Snoke’s airport was right here on tape, the evidence both clear and damning.

Ben slammed the laptop shut before he could get caught up in watching them together, and he none-too-gently tossed the computer onto the shards of table that littered the floor. He rose and paced, rolling his shoulders and dragging his hands harshly through his hair, tugging at the knots he found as if he relished the pain.

“Fuck.  _ FUCK! _ ” 

Alone again. No family. No Snoke. No Rey. He had spent years with Snoke — literal years of his life — and what did he have to show for it? He was worth nothing, he meant nothing, he had no one. 

His pacing intensified — first to the window, around the broken table, past the kitchen island and down the hall. He turned by his bedroom door and retraced his steps in reverse, over and over again until the motion was physically ingrained in him and his mind was able to go blissfully blank.

The days began to blur. Groceries and takeout arrived, delivered by invisible hands. When rain began to pound against the window panes, Ben didn’t care. He wasn’t going anywhere, after all. 

Netflix entertained him for days, and when he got tired of rewatching documentaries he’d seen multiple times, he relied on the algorithm’s suggestions. Seasons of The Office flew by in a blink, then Queer Eye and countless documentaries. Hours spent on the couch, legs extended straight in front of him as he slouched under a blanket, trying to invest in faces on his TV so he wouldn’t feel so goddamned  _ alone _ . 

When Ben finally had enough of TV, he started on his shelves of books. He bypassed the shelves of fiction after deciding he couldn’t handle stories of happily-ever-afters or grand adventures, and took down an old art history textbook. 

He made his way through the first and started on another. And another. And another. Soon, he was surrounded by stacks of books full of vibrant photographs, his mind full of history and beautiful objects. 

Life went on like that — Ben watching TV until he couldn’t stand it anymore, then pulling a book off his shelf and settling on his couch with a cup of tea or a beer for a few hours of reading. Histories on Rembrandt, Titian, Mir-Sayyid Ali, and unknown Etruscan masters joined him in the afternoons as the days turned shorter, and warm summer evenings turned breezy and chilly. Still Ben stayed home, putting a bowl of candy outside his apartment on Halloween to avoid opening his door and interacting with people.

Ben staunchly ignored the snow as it began to fall, channel-surfing the radio to avoid Christmas music. Netflix began suggesting carbon copies of the same sappy holiday movies, and finally Ben just turned the TV off entirely, sighing heavily at its inevitable betrayal.

He knew it wasn’t healthy—days spent on the couch or in his bedroom, hitting the punching bag and imagining it was Snoke’s face. Barely venturing outside except for his monthly trips to the pharmacy and the occasional visit to the liquor store a few blocks away. 

He was barely able to think clearly, hormones still in a tangled mess from his botched heat and emotions utterly feral . But knowing it wasn’t healthy didn’t encourage Ben to go outdoors or look for a new job. 

What was the point, anyway? He had enough savings to get by for a while until… 

Until when? When his head was clear, maybe. 

Or at least clear of  _ her. _ Because he still saw her everywhere, even without leaving his apartment. 

Ben couldn’t even look at the chapters of his books on Sargent —  _ Madame X  _ reminded him so much of Rey, with her creamy skin, haughty attitude and dark hair that it physically  _ hurt _ to see the painting on a page. When he opened his kitchen cabinets and saw his boxes of tea on a shelf, he wondered what her favorite type was. He guessed it would be slightly sweet, maybe a blend with peaches or berries. It would compliment his favorite smoky lapsang souchong, and Ben could imagine two mugs sitting on his counter, the tea steeping while he made breakfast for the two of them.

Those thoughts put him in a tailspin for hours on end until he worked himself into a sweaty, exhausted state with his punching bag.

Chanukkah came and went, Ben decidedly not celebrating at all. There was no one to light candles with, and no one to exchange gifts with, so his menorah and candles stayed packed away under his bed. He did, however, decide to celebrate New Year’s Eve — albeit alone and at home, but in the company of some fancy microbrews that he’d splurged for on his grocery order instead of whatever was on sale that week. 

The first and second beers went down easily while Ben fixed himself dinner and settled on the couch with the last few books in his library that he hadn’t cracked open yet. The third beer was drunk while tracing the forms of Greek sculptures on the glossy pages of a book. 

Ben tossed back the fourth and fifth beers after flipping on the TV to listen to the New Year’s festivities as he paged through centuries of history. 

The sixth hung loosely in his hand as he rested his head on the back of the sofa and stared blankly out the window at the falling snow slowly, his empty hand scrubbing at the stubble he’d let grow.

It must have been the beer, then, and not the fact that Ben realized that he was nearing thirty-five with no life to speak of, that made him consider the one person he used to think he could always rely on. It was definitely the beer that made him twist on the couch to slide his phone out of his pocket, and it was  _ absolutely  _ the beer that made him slide his finger across the screen to unlock it.

His finger tapped along the screen as he brought up his sparse contact list. A deep breath in, and another tap to select the contact. 

Two rings later, a familiar voice thick with sleep answered, “Ben? Is that you?”

A long pause.

“Benji? Hello?”

Ben swallowed the lump growing in his throat. “Hey, Ma.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Melancholy seemed like an apt title for this one, and I was inspired by _Melancholy_ by Constance Charpentier. Check it out [here.](https://www.wga.hu/framex-e.html?file=html/c/charpent/melancho.html&find=sex)
> 
> The piece is meant to evoke the grief felt during the French Revolution and in the years immediately following. The loss of life and livelihood were felt across the spectrum, but women were often hit hardest of all--men going off to war meant that women had to shoulder the responsibility for their families as well as find a way to provide for them in a world that didn't have many opportunities for women to earn a wage. 
> 
> Female artists of the time were apt to immortalize these forgotten generations of women who had nothing to do but remember. Sort of like our poor baby Ben right now, just sitting around and thinking. But I think I can see a change on the horizon for our emotional boy!


	7. Chiaroscuro

  
  


Summer winds swept through the open windows in an entirely changed apartment. The walls were still lined with bookshelves, but new books had been added, completing the “lived-in library” aesthetic that Ben was so fond of. 

A new dining table replaced the one he had ruined in his rage, and his laptop sat on top, the screen’s glow illuminating stacks of papers on the verge of tipping onto the floor. Mugs lay scattered on the counter at various levels of empty, and if anyone opened the refrigerator they’d find organized stacks of packaged-up leftovers, each neatly labeled with cooking instructions in a feminine hand. 

Though the television was still prominently placed in front of the couch, it sat dark and silent as Ben wandered around the apartment, gathering books and papers and shoving them into a backpack along the way. He closed the laptop and stuffed it in last before grabbing his wallet and keys, leaving his apartment dark and silent in his absence.

His life looked different, too. Calling his mother on New Year’s Eve after years of ignoring her attempts at contact had been life-changing. Thirty minutes after they disconnected she appeared at his door, a whirlwind of energy who took one look at Ben and his mess of an apartment and set herself to fixing everything, no questions asked. She shooed him into a shower and then to bed — and when he woke up bleary-eyed and fuzzy-headed late the next morning, she was sitting primly on his couch, waiting with breakfast and a thoroughly spotless apartment. 

And that was just the beginning. A lot had changed between them, and their relationship was still being slowly rebuilt over months of trial and error. A tentative truce had been established, and although Leia was inclined to push Ben harder than he was comfortable with, Ben was learning to stand up for himself — to chase his own wants and needs before acquiescing to the expectations of others. Leia learned to listen to her son, and Ben started coming over for dinner on Friday nights. Leia held Ben in her arms as he cried after finally explaining all that Snoke had done, while Han paced in the hallway shouting about “that bastard”. 

Han was actually the one who’d gifted Ben a copy of Georgio Vasari’s tome of artist biographies, and even though Ben had at least two other copies, Han’s copy stood on his bookshelf in a place of pride. Leia was the one who suggested reaching out to an old family friend about a job, and Han handed Ben a bottle of cold beer in congratulations when he told his parents he had gotten the position. 

But his life didn’t change solely due to Han and Leia’s efforts. It was Ben who’d found a therapist on his own, and after many sessions and long talks with his parents, it was Ben who’d decided to apply to complete his PhD.

Outside, Ben breathed deeply and strode confidently down the street. No one would know that six months before, he was wallowing at home in sweatpants and self-pity. Today he was dressed in snug jeans and a fitted sweater, garnering more than a few appreciative looks from passersby. 

After stopping for a latte at a hole-in-the-wall coffee shop, Ben turned down a quiet side street and paused in front of a green door, above which hung a sign that read,  _ San Tekka Art and Antiquities Restoration _ . After unlocking the door, Ben flipped the lights on and disarmed the chirping alarm, dropping his backpack behind the counter before heading into the back room.

Ben gathered brushes, a roll of acid-free paper, and a box of cotton swabs from the cupboards and laid them all out on the store’s front counter. It was a familiar, soothing routine; unrolling the paper, then arranging the box and brushes around the perimeter to weigh it down. Jars and bottles emerged from under the counter to be settled alongside his workspace — and Ben once again returned to the back room to fiddle with the dial of a wall safe, notching the arrow to the correct numbers in order: 2-1-8-7. 

The safe door unlatched with a click, and Ben pulled on a pair of white cotton gloves, wiggling his fingers as he stretched the soft fabric to fit around them. He painstakingly lifted a small painting lifted from the safe and carried it to the paper, gently settling it on top. 

Ben bent close to the frame, inspecting the faded and peeling gold leaf before sliding the tip of one finger down the canvas itself. He let his fingers drag gently across the cracked and peeling paint, examining the tips of his gloves for dirt after rubbing his first two fingers together. 

He deposited the gloves in a small laundry hamper, then stooped to pull his laptop up to the counter. After settling it off to the side of his workspace, he pulled up a video and pushed play, letting the sounds of a lecture about southern Baroque architecture fill the small shop.

Ben worked throughout the morning, gently swabbing the canvas with cotton dipped in various liquids, smearing around years of dirt, smoke, and varnish before rolling the grime away with a clean swab. He balanced his gangly frame on a stool, nodding along to the lecture as he cleaned mere fractions of the painting at a time. 

~~~

An hour passed, then two, then three. The painting was slowly emerging from behind a cloud of filth, revealing a portrait of a delicate-looking girl, her wide brown eyes staring out from the canvas as Ben hunched over her. 

The lecture stopped, and Ben straightened, wincing as he stretched and drew his hands behind him to massage his lower back. He discarded the gloves and mask he wore, replacing them with clean duplicates before lifting the painting and carrying it to an easel in the back room. 

Lunch arrived from a deli down the street, and Ben ate in the back room, staring at the painting and envisioning his next steps. He’d just finished throwing away his garbage and was stretching a mask over his mouth when the tinkle of the bell above the shop door stopped him in his tracks. No one came into the shop without an appointment, and Ben was  _ sure  _ that San Tekka wasn’t expecting any deliveries or drop-offs that afternoon. 

“Hello?” His deep voice was muffled by the mask but he was confident that the sound would carry to the front of the shop.

“Hi? I know I don’t have an appointment, but I was told you were the best…” 

The accented feminine voice trailed off as Ben lumbered his way to the counter and his eyes locked on familiar hazel ones.

It was as though he’d been drenched in a wave of icy water had been thrown at him, and he was adrift in an unfriendly sea.

_ Rey.  _

"Ben?" Rey's voice went up at least an octave, and she nearly dropped the package she clutched in her arms. "Oh my gosh, I had no idea you worked here! My boss told me I should bring this—" She shifted the package from one arm to the other. "—over here, but I swear I had no idea you worked here. I  _ swear _ , Ben."

He stood stiffly behind the counter, his mind racing while Rey talked and talked. He wasn’t ready for this. He wasn’t sure that he’d  _ ever _ be ready to do this. To talk to the woman who still haunted his dreams, whose phantom scent never completely left his nose. 

He lifted his hands to scrub through his hair and he noticed they were shaking. 

Rey stilled, catching the scent of his anxiety over the rich spiciness that she recognized as  _ Ben _ . His panic was turning that delicious smell into something rancid. “Ben?”

“No.” His voice was quiet, but firm. “No. We can’t help you. Please find somewhere else.”

Rey’s mouth dropped open. “What? But why—”

Ben’s jaw tensed and he ripped the mask off, throwing it aside as he spoke, “Rey. No. I can’t do this — not with you, and not today. Maybe not ever.” His voice held firm even as he saw her swallow hard. “I’d like you to leave.” 

“...Ben, I—” Her voice broke. ”I really am … I’m  _ so _ sorry, Ben.”

He strode around the counter to stand in front of her. Face hot with fury, and hands twisting together in front of him, words falling from his lips as her face fell further and further until her chin rested on her chest.

“I was embarrassed, Rey! Ashamed! You triggered my heat after Alpha commanding me and then you _left_. It was like every nasty thought I’d ever had, everything anyone ever told me about how I wasn’t good enough or how I was unworthy, just came into being. An Alpha left me alone on the floor, because I wasn’t good enough. And not just any Alpha, it was _you._ ” He drew a ragged breath. “I liked you, and it completely fucked me up, Rey. I hope you know that you completely fucked me up. I wanted you, and you left. You _left_ me, during my first heat in years, and—” Ben’s voice cracked and he felt tears streaming down his face. “—and —and all I wanted, all I needed … was you.”

Rey stared at her shoes, tears shimmering in her eyes, and she nodded twice. 

“I … I know my words don’t mean anything, but I truly am sorry. You said my  _ name _ , Ben. You said my name and it was like this out of body experience, this amazing thing we had, just skidded to a halt. I took  _ advantage _ of you. I  _ forced _ you to do things you wouldn’t have done otherwise. I’m so sorry, Ben. You deserve an Alpha who could stay in control, someone who could give you only  _ good _ things, not someone who lost her shit and couldn’t handle it. I want to make it up to you somehow…”

Ben stiffened and shook his head.

“Rey, I … I can’t.” He walked slowly behind the counter as Rey swiped tears off her cheeks and slowly made her way to the door. 

Her voice reached him as a whisper. “I really  _ am _ so sorry, Ben. I...I wish I hadn’t left.” 

And as the doorbell jingled, signaling that she’d pulled the door open and vanished again, Ben breathed out a deep sigh. “Me too, Rey. Me too.”

He hunched over the counter, elbows resting on the wood and hands buried in his hair. Tears pricked his eyes again as he tugged too hard, and he let out a guttural sound of frustration before straightening and reaching for his phone, tapping out a text message. 

**Ben:** **  
** I saw Rey today. She tried to apologize but I yelled at her and she left.   
I know we talked about being open to listening, but I’m not ready. I want to be ready, but I don’t think I am yet. 

**Dr. T:** **  
** Being angry at her is a perfectly reasonable response, especially after the trauma she inadvertently caused.  
Can we keep our normal appointment this week, or should we schedule one for tomorrow? Are you having any signs of going into Heat?

**Ben:**   
No, I think I’m ok. I just needed to tell someone. I’ll see you on Thursday, Dr. Tano. 

**Dr. T:** **  
** Thank you for texting, Ben. I’ll see you on Thursday.

Ben tucked his phone back into his pocket and repeated the ritual of bringing the painting back to the counter to continue his work. 

He stayed at work late that night, gently rolling cotton swabs over the painting to remove the darkness covering the canvas, bringing the painting back to life. He didn’t stop for a moment, refusing to let his mind dwell on the fact that Rey had walked back into his life just as abruptly as she’d run out of it more than half a year ago. 

It was a complicated snarl of emotions. He wasn’t ready to forgive her for leaving him, nor was he quite ready to forget her.

The next morning was much like the previous, and any number before that. Ben woke, showered, got dressed. Cereal for breakfast. Mug of tea in a travel thermos. Backpack full of his laptop and a hastily-made sandwich, keys in hand, out the door.

But when he got to the door of San Tekka’s shop, something made him pause that wasn’t just him fumbling for the lock.

A little succulent lay on top of a folded piece of paper on the sill of the door.

Ben stooped to scoop the tiny plant into his hand and unfolded the paper.

_ “You deserve something pretty.  _

_ -Rey” _

Seeing her name on the paper — seeing her delicate handwriting — made Ben’s insides jolt in shock.First because it was  _ Rey _ , and second, because his knee-jerk reaction was,  _ Alpha gave me a gift _ . 

Ben gathered his wits and unlocked the shop, trying to keep focused on work and not the Alpha who had come back into his life.

The rest of the week was the same — a small present and hand-written note were waiting for him every single morning. A rock that glittered in the sun ( _ “the sparkles reminded me of you” _ ), a single dark chocolate truffle ( _ “these are the best in town” _ ), a postcard from Bali showing a house on stilts sitting over crystalline waters ( _ “the water really is this clear, Ben” _ ), and so on. None of them fancy or expensive, but all the more meaningful for being unique.

Ben kept all the gifts, taking them home at the end of the day and arranging them on the windowsill in his bedroom. The notes were tucked carefully away in a leather-bound notebook he kept on his bedside table. 

Visiting his therapist that week allowed Ben to vent his frustration and confusion at the situation he found himself in.

He settled into the armchair facing the window and traced the seam in the leather before drawing a deep breath and saying, “I feel like I’m being split in two. Half of me is ready to fall to my knees in front of her and beg her to touch me, but the rest of me wants to run in the opposite direction and never look back.” 

Dr. Tano nodded and made a note on her tablet. “That’s not shocking, Ben. I think you need to weigh the risks of opening back up to her versus walking away and ending things entirely. Would you regret not seeing her again? Or would it give you the closure you wanted when we first started talking?”

The conversation lasted the full hour of his appointment, and while Ben talked himself through each scenario, he felt no closer to making a decision regarding his desire for exploring a future with Rey.

Ben shut the shop up early on Friday afternoon and headed to his parents’ house for dinner. Strangely, he relished the newfound normalcy in lighting candles, and sitting together with family around the dining table, sharing a meal.

He spent the weekend in front of his laptop, finalizing his dissertation proposal and trying not to wonder if there would be anything waiting for him on the stoop of the shop when he arrived on Monday morning. 

And there was. The gifts continued, one every single morning that week. And the next. 

And the next. 

The trinkets had a way of burrowing their way into the heart that Ben had tried to lock up. Every morning he went to work, fully certain that Rey would have grown bored with leaving him things, but still she continued. 

Ben had to expand his windowsill display to his living room bookshelves, often catching himself staring at the little pops of life while he sat typing in front of his laptop. The feather Rey found in the park sat next to a book detailing King Tutanhkamun and the golden age of the Pharaohs. A tiny statue of the Leaning Tower of Pisa was propped against a ratty copy of  _ The Kurgan Culture and the Indo-Europeanization of Europe _ . A tiny blue flower that had been pressed flat was tucked next to a picture of the Organa-Solo family — the three of them sitting on a bench with a glowering teenaged Ben. Caught on film was Leia, reaching up to tuck Ben’s hair behind his ears, while Han grinned toothily, his arm thrown wide to reach around his son’s shoulders. He couldn’t look at the picture without the memory of warm sunshine on his back as his parents insisted he take a walk with them through the city. 

But Ben’s favorite — the prize of his unplanned collection — was a photostrip of Rey making faces in a photobooth, her wide smile shining from the paper straight at the camera. 

Her eyes crinkled at the corners as she laughed, frozen eternally in that moment. The paper was beginning to get smudged and worn; Ben took it down to look at often, flipping it from the photographs to what Rey had written on the backside in her loopy handwriting: 

_ We are all born _

_ so beautiful _

_ the greatest tragedy is _

_ being convinced we are not _

— _ Rupi Kaur _

_ I’m still sorry, Ben. And I think you’re beautiful. _

During the fourth week, as Dr. Tano’s stylus was poised and ready over her tablet, Ben found himself saying six words he never thought would cross his lips. 

“I want to see her again.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chiaroscuro is a term used to describe the use and treatment of light and shading in art. Basically all those gorgeous Renaissance and Baroque paintings that look like they were literally lit from within? Those are excellent examples of masters of Chiaroscuro. It looks like a painter has gathered up all the light in their studio and flung it at their paintings from a certain direction, making their work appear to have a spotlight or the sun shining directly at it. It blows my mind! There are too many amazing pieces to link to, so [here's](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiaroscuro) a Wikipedia article about the technique--take a look at Fra Angelico's work in the 15th century, Caravaggio's from the 17th century, and Fragonard's from the 18th.
> 
> On a not-art history related note, this is the last chapter I have fully written and beta'd! So the wait for chapter 8 might be a little longer, and for that I apologize. It seems the plot bunnies haven't been particularly inspired lately. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter and that it erases some of the sads that y'all had after the last one!


	8. Reunion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy was this chapter HARD for me to write for some reason! My amazing beta deserves a parade, a vacation, and a money bin a la Scrooge McDuck for walking me through this one.  
> Follow her on Twitter here. She's working on about a million different projects, but every last one of them is amazing and different and I cannot recommend them all enough.
> 
> Let's continue to earn our E rating, shall we?

  
  


That weekend passed achingly slowly, Ben having agreed with his doctor to wait until the following Monday to try and make contact with Rey — giving him more time to consider his strategy and figure out exactly what he wanted to say to her. 

Ben awoke to an alarm set earlier than normal on the appointed morning, and instead of lazing in bed scrolling through his phone, he immediately got up and began getting ready for his day. He spent more time than usual in front of the mirror, fiddling with the messy strands of hair that hung over his ears, trying to get them to lay normally. Four shirts were tried on only to be discarded, a mantra of _I have to look my best for Alpha_ repeating over and over in his head as he finally pulled on his softest flannel and buttoned it down his chest. 

Anxiety settled heavily in Ben’s stomach as he opened his kitchen cupboard to pull down a cereal bowl, so he skipped his typical breakfast and left his apartment an hour before he usually did. He stopped for a latte before heading to work and loitered in front of San Tekka’s, sipping idly on it as he waited for Rey to appear. 

He didn’t have to wait long. She rounded the corner, and in the seconds before their eyes locked he took her in from top to toe. Dark jeans tucked into tall boots, the hem of an olive green jacket brushing her knees. A long scarf wound around her neck, dangling between the open sides of her coat. 

Her hands were encased in leather gloves, one clasping the straps of a brown bag, while the other held her phone up to her ear. Ben’s eyes fell onto the furrow between her brows, his fingers itching to smooth it away, to soothe any stress or worries she felt. 

The hand holding her phone fell limply to her side, forgotten, as her gaze found his. Her lips parted in surprise, and she murmured, “Ben…” on a breath as she thumbed off her phone. 

Ben walked toward her, feeling his pulse pound heavily in his gland as he absentmindedly lifted his fingers to his neck, only to drop them just as quickly at Rey’s sharp inhalation. 

He stopped a few feet in front of her and waved awkwardly, “Um, hi? I mean, hi, Rey. I just — I just wanted to — oh damn it.” Ben sighed helplessly as the speech he’d gone over in his mind so many times suddenly disappeared as Rey’s tongue darted out to wet her lips.

Rey chuckled softly and reached into her coat pocket, pulling out a paper bag with the logo of a nearby bakery stamped on it. She offered it to him, clearly not making any attempt to come closer. 

She was treating him cautiously, Ben noted, like he was an unpredictable stray that she was trying to lure closer with soft words and kind gestures. 

“We don’t… We don’t have to worry about anything _hormonal_ , do we?” Rey smiled nervously at him as she handed him the bag. 

Ben made sure to avoid any contact with her fingertips as he gently took it from her., “Ah, no. It turns out that my suppressants didn’t mix well with the combination of my anxiety meds and the … uh...oral stimulus?” Ben blushed, peeking into the bag to hide his embarrassment. 

“It’s a croissant. I asked them to heat it for you … I wanted to make sure it was still warm when you came to work today.” Rey smiled shyly at him and shuffled her feet as she added, “I wasn’t sure if you had breakfast before work, and I wanted to make sure you ate.”

Ben couldn’t stop himself from taking a bite of the croissant — because, well, _Alpha gave me food_ — and grinned at her around a mouthful of flaky pastry, “I didn’t eat this morning, so this is perfect.” 

“Does this mean you’re willing to talk to me again?” Her cheeks pinked. “I can’t take back what happened, but I’d really like to get to know you again. We could start over, maybe just for a coffee after work?”

Ben looked down at her, drinking in her wide, hopeful eyes as she stared up at him and he considered his options for what felt like the hundredth time. 

This was his chance to explore what being an Omega _could be_. Rey had proven to him with her little gifts and trinkets that she wanted to take care of him, and that she was willing to put time and effort into that endeavor. 

He now knew deep in his soul that every single word out of Snoke’s mouth had truly been a lie. Someone wanted him for him — and not just anyone. _Rey_ was standing in front of him, asking him to give her a chance, and it made Ben’s mouth go dry and caused him to let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

The decision was made. 

“Yes. Coffee. Let’s get coffee.” 

Those simple words made Rey's face light up and Ben caught a glimpse of her dimples as she tilted her head up towards him. 

And just like that, it began.

~~~

They met for coffee a few times a week, scheduling it around Rey’s work trips. Ben always arrived before she did, and he always picked out the most comfortable, secluded spots — private nooks perfect for conversation and tentative first steps into a relationship. 

During the first coffee date, Ben learned that Rey had her friends Finn and Poe drop off his gifts when she was travelling. Rey discovered that Ben was back on track to get his PhD, but that he loved his restoration work and had no plans to quit until something _perfect_ came along.

The second date found them debating Indiana Jones — Ben passionately arguing that the titular character technically a successful archaeologist (after all, he always found exactly what he was looking for), while Rey stood firm and argued that every single object he found in fact _did not_ belong in a museum and Dr. Jones should have left well enough alone, thank you very much. Ben got distracted by a smear of coffee foam on her lip and found himself agreeing with her wholeheartedly even though he had no idea what exactly he was agreeing with. 

Ben kissed her after their third date, outside the coffee shop as they said their goodbyes. He pressed her up against the brick as her arms wound their way around his neck, and Rey’s fingers tangled in his hair while his tongue traced her lips. His hands made a pathway under her loose sweater, splaying his fingers along her bare back, all while trying to carefully angle his pelvis away from hers so as to not appear _too_ eager. 

Rey broke away from Ben’s mouth to press gentle kisses into each cheek, his nose, and to the notch at the base of his neck, her tongue darting out to taste his skin. They stood wrapped around each other as Rey nuzzled into Ben’s chest, his hands rubbing tight circles into the skin on her lower back. 

It was hard to part that night, and as Ben was walking up the stairs to his apartment, his phone buzzed with a text from Rey wishing him goodnight. Ben fell asleep that night with a smile on his face, and when he woke up the next morning, he remembered wisps of dreams where a smiling Rey was in his apartment, cooking with him, reading with him, kissing him on his couch. 

Their fifth date saw Ben telling Rey everything that drew him to Snoke, and what happened after their fateful encounter in the back office at the airport. How his parents rallied behind him and helped to bring him out of the darkness that had surrounded him for so long. Rey pressed in next to him in the oversized armchair and held his hand, squeezing gently as Ben’s voice broke while he described his loneliness and fear.

She kissed his knuckles and told him about her childhood in foster care, how she moved out as soon as she turned eighteen and made her own way in the world, how she had friends in Poe and Finn, but still felt alone. 

Ben pulled her closer, tugging her legs over his lap so she faced him better, and looked right at her as he murmured, “You’re not alone.” Rey beamed at him and pushed his hair off of his forehead as she laid her head on his shoulder, whispering into his ear, “Neither are you.”

Rey invited Ben back to her apartment during date six, and they both left their coffee mugs mostly full as they rushed to leave. Ben twined his fingers between Rey’s as they took the short walk to her apartment. Rey led the way up the stairs to a door at the end of the hall with a rainbow doormat laying in front. 

The first thing that Ben thought when he walked into Rey’s apartment was, _it’s so green_. There were plants everywhere — ferns and succulents and some sort of drapey hanging thing in the corner that was cascading out of its pot like plump droplets of water. Rey looked up at him, suddenly shy, and he smiled down at her, saying, “I love your place. It reminds me of you, all alive and flourishing.”

She flung himself into his arms, and he caught her, staggering into the wall as she slanted her lips over his. Her teeth tugged at his lower lip and Ben moaned as her tongue gently licked into his mouth, tasting coffee and mint and something purely _Rey._ As he lifted her into his arms, Ben pulled back for a moment to mumble, “Couch or bed?” and Rey gestured in the general direction of the living room. 

She threaded her fingers through his hair and began nibbling on his neck as he struggled to make his legs do what his brain was telling them: _couch. now._

Ben gently placed Rey on her feet, and he let out an audible “oof” as she shoved him down onto the couch, his weight sinking into the cushions. She reached down and cupped his face, rubbing her thumb along his cheek as she stared down at him , all kiss-plumped lips and fiery cheeks. He turned his face to nibble gently on her thumb, tracing her fingernail with his tongue before pulling away, clearing his throat.

“Rey, I know I came home with you, but I don’t think I’m ready for sex tonight.” He shifted nervously and ran his fingers through his hair, the thick strands flopping back over his forehead. “We can work our way up to sex, though?” 

He looked hopefully up at her through thick dark lashes, startled to find himself with a lapful of Ray as she straddled his hips. 

"Fine with me. You just say when." 

And with that, Rey gathered his shirt in her fist and sank down to grind their hips together. 

Ben groaned and nudged her head back so he could better trail wet kisses along the column of her neck. She circled her pelvis against his, and the hard ridge of his cock pressed against her through the zipper of his pants.

Rey tugged her sweater over her head, and Ben’s thumbs immediately traced her bra straps before sliding them down her shoulders, kisses following in their path. The room was filled with the sounds of quiet groans and gasps as Rey rocked steadily against Ben, angling her core against his cock until he almost saw sparks. 

Abruptly, Rey drew back and shoved Ben farther down until his back met the couch cushions. She knelt on the ground next to him. “Ben — _Omega_ , let me take care of you. Please? I want to, so badly.” 

Ben nodded shakily and ground out, “Rey — please — oh god, please,” as he palmed the bulge in his pants with a drawn-out moan. 

She batted at his hands until he drew them away and pulled his shirt over his head at her pointed look. Her hands paused over his waistband, waiting for him to shakily nod before popping open the button on his jeans and slowly pulling the zipper down. 

Rey smoothed her hands down over his chest and down to his stomach, drawing nonsensical shapes over his pale skin. Hot kisses were trailed down following in the wake of her hands, and she tugged the two sides of his pants open further, pressing a drawn-out kiss on the waistband of his boxer-briefs.

“Can I?” Rey asked with a raised eyebrow, tucking her hair behind her ears.

Ben felt himself flushing bright red and nodded again, lifting his hips as she pulled the jeans down his thighs, throwing them on the floor next to her. Her thumbs rubbed circles into his hips and Ben found himself relaxing into her touch, closing his eyes and reclining back so his head rested on the arm of the couch.

Which is why he was so utterly _shocked_ when Rey tucked her fingers underneath his waistband, pulled down his briefs, and _nuzzled into_ the wiry hair above his cock. His hands flew to her hair as she peppered his groin with kisses, and he groaned a drawn out, “Rey — fuck — _Rey”_ as her tongue came out to lick her way up his cock. 

She licked and nibbled patterns as she went, for all Ben knew (or cared), it was a spell in runes, or her name — fuck, he _hoped_ it was her name, _mark me, mark me, Alpha_.

He couldn’t help himself from thrusting up towards her, desperate for more, for anything she was willing to give him. Her hand moved to wrap around the base of his cock and her tongue came out to trace his cockhead and press gently at the slit as Ben tangled his fingers tighter in her hair, trying not to tug her down onto his cock.

Rey took a breath and then his cock was between her lips, her tongue on the underside of him, her hand working the part of him she couldn’t fit in her hot mouth.

Her head bobbed as she took him deeper and deeper, and Ben could feel himself hurtling towards an orgasm that he knew would hit him like a freight train. Rey sucked harder, cheeks hollowing, and he raised himself on his elbows to get a better look at her. Her hair was a mess, her lips stretched around his cock and spit seeping out of her mouth, making little rivulets that ran down to her chin. 

She was beautiful. 

Their eyes met as Rey released his cock with a _pop_., “Ben, you don’t have to be gentle — if you don’t want to be.” 

His eyes widened and she bent back down, swallowing his cock like she was made for it. Her hands found his again, and she drew them up to the back of her head, still staring at him with bright, shining eyes.

Ben’s back arched off the couch as she quickened, taking him to the back of her throat and beyond, gagging a little at his length but never slowing or stopping. He couldn’t help himself from twisting his fingers into her hair, adjusting her rhythm to his preference, holding her head down until she paused with as much of him as she could take in, drool escaping her mouth to pool at the base of his cock. 

One of her hands released Ben and he saw it burrowing into her jeans, rubbing herself under her panties as she moaned. The combination of the sounds of her pleasure mixed with the audible slide of her mouth on his dick and the wet gags she made when he reached the back of her throat was all it took for him, and he frantically tugged on her hair, signalling that she could stop any time she wanted. 

His gesture had the opposite effect. The pressure from his fingers on her scalp made her tighten her suction and the hand at the base of his cock moved below to cup his balls, squeezing them gently. Ben grunted as he felt his cock twitching against her tongue, his body engulfed in rapturous flames as his orgasm slammed into him. 

His hips rose from the couch to meet Rey’s mouth as her hand reclaimed his cock as she stroked him through it, holding the tip of him to her lips. Jets of cum landed on her tongue and she lapped at his cock, the last few spurts settling on her lips and chin. She made a show of licking her lips appreciatively, drawing her fingers through his spend and popping those into her mouth to lick clean, too. 

Rey kissed his sensitive cock and sat back on her heels, watching Ben as he lay gasping on the couch, body still reeling from the aftershocks of his orgasm. Before she could open her mouth to speak he was sitting up and dragging her back into his lap for a fiery kiss. 

His tongue pushed into her mouth, savoring the bitter taste of his own cum in her mouth, his hands immediately went to her bra, flicking the clasp at the back until it gave way.. He dragged off the flimsy thing, kissing a trail down from her jaw until he was nuzzling her breast, taking one nipple into his mouth as his fingers traced gentle circles around the other until Rey moaned, “ _harder_ ”. He flicked his tongue, drawing shapes around it before rolling the tip between his teeth, making Rey shudder and squirm in his lap. Her hands dove into his hair, twisting the strands as she pressed her chest towards him and he moved to lap at her other breast. 

Ben gathered her close and drew her beneath him, settling her on her back as he hovered above her on his elbows. It was his turn to place openmouthed kisses down her chest and belly, tweaking her nipples between thick fingers before turning his attention to her unbuttoned jeans.

“You started without me,” Ben murmured as he traced the waistband of her underwear with a finger. 

Rey smirked and shied away from the too-gentle touch. “You’re more than welcome to get on with it, then.” 

She squealed as he blew a raspberry against her belly, shrinking away to push her jeans down her hips. Ben yanked them all the way off, sitting back to admire the view of the woman laid out in front of him. No woman had ever been hungry for him before, and Rey looked ravenous.

He scooted further down the couch, settling himself between her thighs, his nose pressing against her clit as he breathed against the crotch of the panties, inhaling her welcoming scent in the next moment. 

“Solo. You better take those off me,” Rey gasped as she squirmed, trying to get any measure of friction against where she needed it the most. 

Ben chuckled, pulling the scrap of fabric away from her body. “Your wish is my command.”

As soon as the fabric joined the rest on the floor, Ben wrapped his hands around her hips and pulled her thighs over his shoulders, pressing a kiss to her clit and making her shiver. He spread her open with two fingers and gently drew them against her center, drawing the wetness up to circle back around the sensitive bundle of nerves. 

Rey drew in a shaky breath as Ben’s tongue began to gently lick around her entrance, never quite reaching where she _needed_ him to be.

“Bennnnnn,” she whined, the sound keening and breathy all at once.

It was intoxicating.

He smirked up at her before wrapping his lips around her clit and _sucking_. Her whole body shot up, hands burrowing into his hair by his ears.

“Like that, then?” Ben asked, and sucked again, flicking his tongue over her for good measure.

“Yes, oh god yes…”

He drew away, using two fingers to rub her clit before pressing one to her entrance, pushing inside as he teased her with his lips and tongue. He hooked another finger into her and set a slow pace — pulling and pushing in rhythmic strokes, sometimes adding a twist as he went.

“ _Yes_ ,” she growled, meeting him with her hips.

She was getting wetter and wetter, the sounds of his fingers squelching into her cunt intermingling with her moans of pleasure. A third finger made her yip, and Ben slowed down his movements even more to allow Rey to adjust. 

Soon her hips were chasing his hand and she glared down at him imperiously. “Please Ben … I want — I _need_ — more _._ ” 

He quirked an eyebrow in her direction and slammed his fingers up into her, his other arm pressing into the flat of her belly to hold her steady

His mouth returned to her cunt, and he lapped at her clit, making his tongue flat and wide against her as his fingers worked their magic. One of her hands tangled itself in his hair again, the other tugging on her own nipples as Ben nuzzled roughly at her, the wet sounds obscene in the quiet of her apartment. 

Ben alternated between fucking her with his fingers and pressing them deep inside her, rubbing against her inner walls as she ground against his hand, encouraging anything he’d give to her. 

“Ben … oh, Ben…”

His cock twitched at the sound of his own name from her lips as she squirmed before him.

It might have lasted minutes or hours, both of them lost in the heady pleasure of it all. His tongue was solely focused on swirling around her clit, and as he felt her tighten around his fingers, he tugged her nub gently between his teeth and sucked at it, moaning against her as she took her pleasure from him. 

Her orgasm came on like a wave, and she fucked herself to completion on his fingers while his mouth was pressed against her clit, hips jerking against his chin. Ben didn’t let up until her channel finished clenching around his fingers, slowing his motions until he carefully drew his fingers out of her, his last openmouthed kiss making her body jerk with overstimulation. 

He sucked her wetness off of his fingers as he pulled her upright and into his chest, and Rey sank against him, cuddling under his arm

“That was nice,” she murmured drowsily as he pushed sweat-sticky tendrils of hair off her forehead. “Stay the night with me?” 

Ben nuzzled into her neck, and nodded, pulling down a throw blanket from back of the couch and draping it over the two of them. Rey straightened and reached for the remote, handing it to him as she snuggled back into the couch cushions, using his chest as a pillow.

~~~

They hardly left the couch for the rest of the evening, watching old episodes of a cooking show on Netflix that Rey was obsessed with. Ben only got dressed again to accept the pizza delivery, and she wouldn’t let him back on the couch until he stripped back to his boxer briefs again, earning a quiet “good boy” that made him flush red. 

Sometime around what felt to Ben like the millionth episode of British people baking things he couldn’t pronounce, Rey fell asleep against him. He turned off the TV before sneaking out from under her to clean up what remained of the pizza box and dinner dishes. He nudged Rey gently to wake her up, and when she blinked sleepily up at him, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to her bedroom. 

They climbed into bed together, strangely shy as Rey flipped off the light on the table beside her bed and Ben tucked his too-large body under her blankets. She rolled into Ben, pressing her chest up to his back, her knees hardly reaching the middle of his thighs. 

He pressed her hand against his chest and felt her breath warming the nape of his neck,, slowing as she fell asleep. He kept holding her hand, his thumb grazing her knuckles, and he stayed awake — hardly able to believe that he was in her bed with her, that she let him touch her, and that for the first time in a long time, or maybe ever, he was _home_. 

~~~

Ben woke before Rey the next morning, snuggled into a bed made too small by the unconscious woman beside him, spread-eagled and snoring under a mound of blankets. He traced her face without touching, letting his gaze follow the slope of her forehead down the tip of her nose, fondly lingering on her still-kiss-plump lips. 

Pins and needles shot up his arm as he gently extricated himself from Rey’s burrow, taking care to tuck the blankets back around her as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. She rolled into the spot he left vacant and cuddled into his pillow, lips curving in a smile that made his own mouth twitch in warm response. If she was dreaming, it looked like a happy one. 

Ben found a clean towel in a closet and padded into her bathroom, discarding his boxer briefs and fiddling with her shower controls until he was satisfied with the temperature. He helped himself to Rey’s body wash, content that he would leave her apartment still smelling like her. 

A quick shampoo and rinse completed his ablutions, and the bathmat — another rainbow — made him smile as he dried himself off. Yesterday’s underwear was given a _look_ but eventually pulled back on, and Ben grimaced, making a mental note to carry an extra pair with him. 

He was facing the mirror and toweling his hair off when Rey wandered in and pressed herself against his back, kissing him between his shoulder blades.

“You didn’t wake me?” Her voice was rich with both sleep and petulance, and Ben chuckled, draping the towel over the sink basin, and turning to wrap her up in his arms.

“I wanted to let you sleep a bit longer. It’s still early. Plus … you were practically hibernating under your mountain of blankets.” Rey’s half-hearted slap stung his arm, and he swung her around. “Get in the shower. I’m gonna make us some breakfast. And rummage around in your kitchen until I find some caffeine.”

She yawned and stretched, reaching out to pinch his ass as he walked out of the bathroom. “If you’d woken me up we could’ve showered together, you giant git!” 

Ben turned back to grin lopsidedly at her. “I could have, but we wouldn’t get very clean. Plus I could hear your stomach grumbling and wanted to make sure you were well-fed.” 

Rey rolled her eyes and shut the door, and Ben chuckled softly as he wandered into the kitchen, opening the cupboards and the fridge until his chosen ingredients were laid out on the counter and the coffee pot was percolating.

The tinny sound of a phone ringing interrupted his preparations. “Rey? Your phone’s ringing — want me to answer it?”

The shower shut off and Rey’s muffled voice called back, “Nah, just bring it in here for me. It’s probably in my purse by the door.”

The ringtone started over again, an electronic interpretation of Ravel’s _Bolero_ chiming loudly as Ben rummaged through her purse to find it. He followed the vibrations with his fingers and he grabbed the phone, absentmindedly glancing at the caller ID as he pulled it out of her bag. 

_Missed call from Lando C._

Shocked, he blinked and looked again — and sure enough, _Lando C._ was still on her screen in white text, clear as anything. 

He turned and began the slow walk towards the bathroom, mind whirling.

He found Rey in her bedroom. “Thanks, Ben, I can’t believe anyone called me this early today — don’t they know it’s Saturday? I’ll just take…” 

Her voice faded as she glanced between the phone and Ben’s face.

“What is it?”

The words felt impossible, stuck in Ben’s throat. He swallowed thickly and spoke. “Rey … why is my uncle calling you? And what _exactly_ is it that you do for work?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I am a huge fan of Bouguereau's work (a Bouguer-heaux?), check out this painting. It's called Idylle, and I'm obsessed with the idea of a dark-haired man sitting naked at the feet of a woman who he looks up at adoringly. Wonder why.


	9. Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben learns some things, Rey is a badass, loads of fluff, etc, etc, etc.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end of chapter for potential triggers, and also some comments from moi about this chapter. 
> 
> This is a beast of a chapter, and I've gotta keep praising the talents of my ahhhhhmazing beta, Miss Els. Check out her fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElegyGoldsmith/pseuds/ElegyGoldsmith) on AO3--she's updating her swapped Beauty and the Beast/Reylo AU set in the world of BDSM and it is EVERYTHING.

Rey sucked in a sharp breath. “What — Ben, I’ve never even met your _parents_ , let alone your uncle —”

“I’m not stupid, Rey,” Ben raged, pushing past her into the living room. “I saw your caller ID. He just called you! Lando? How many _Lando’s_ could there possibly _be?_ ” He tossed the phone on the couch, and scrubbed his face with his palms before turning and facing Rey again. “Just don’t _lie_ to me, Rey. After all of this, don’t lie. Not to me.”

Rey’s arms were tightly crossed over her chest, but as she marched over to stand in front of Ben, she pointed a finger at him, glaring fiercely.

“Ben Solo, I haven’t _ever_ lied to you. Now you sit on that sofa, be quiet, and let me _explain._ ” She ended her sentence with a stamp of her foot and a pointed look at the couch in question. 

“Fine,” Ben grumbled as he shuffled to sit down, “ _this_ will be interesting.” 

Rey paced in front of him, taking a deep breath before beginning. “Lando is my boss. I work for him, and have done for some time.” 

Ben’s mouth popped open, but Rey waved a finger in his direction and he grudgingly clamped his lips shut again. 

She sat gingerly on the coffee table in front of him, placing her hands on his knees and giving them a squeeze. “Ben … what do you know — or think you know — about what Lando does?” 

He leaned back, letting out a deep breath and scratching at the back of his head. “Lando is my uncle — my dad’s best friend. I grew up with him coming and going at our house — he’d be gone weeks at a time, and then would come back with a present for me and stories about the places he’d been.” Rey nodded at him, nudging her knees against his as he continued, “When I was in high school, starting to get into art and history, Lando’s stories were like … fairy tales. A far-off place, interesting people, adventure, beautiful women … I practically worshipped the man. He always told me that I could come with him after high school, but one night when I was sixteen, I overheard my mom and dad arguing in the kitchen. My mom wanted dad to cut ties with Lando, she said that his smuggling had to stop, that she didn’t want me to follow him on one of his crazy schemes…” 

Ben grimaced. “My dad made excuses for Lando, said that he loved me, that he wasn’t putting us in any danger or anything, but my mom won, and Lando just … disappeared. I haven’t seen him since.” 

Rey sighed, and used her palms against Ben’s thighs to lever herself upright. “That’s pretty much what I thought. And you’re right — to a point.” Ben lifted his head to look at her, and Rey continued, “Like I said — to a point. Lando _was_ a smuggler for a long time, but I _swear to you,_ Ben _,_ he’s legitimate now — has been since before I met him. Nothing illegal. That goes for me, too. I’ve never even gotten a speeding ticket.” She stepped between Ben’s thighs, carding her fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath. “Are you ready to hear more? Do you trust me?”

Ben leaned into her touch, and his hands rose of their own accord to grasp Rey around her waist and pull her onto his lap. He nuzzled into her neck and murmured, “I want to. I _do_ . I just…” He pulled back and sighed. “I’m afraid that this is going _so well_ and nothing ever goes this well for me, and I don’t want anything to change — but it feels like things are just bound to fall apart because that’s what al—” 

Rey pressed her lips to his, stopping him mid-sentence. Her tongue traced his bottom lip and she nipped it gently before drawing away. “Ben, please just trust me a little bit longer. If you’ll listen, you’ll understand _everything_. And I promise everything will be fine.”

He took a deep breath and nodded, arms wrapping around Rey as she tucked herself closer to him. 

She began again, “You’re right, Lando _was_ a smuggler. Until he got caught by the FBI. He was moving a shipment from Europe to the States and got picked up at the airport when he flew in. They searched the cargo, and found everything — the manifest, the dealer’s information, every single detail from this job and the ones before. Lando was — _is_ — nothing if not detailed. The Feds took Lando in for questioning, and let him know that if he didn’t cooperate, they’d prosecute that case, plus any number of others before it. They had a complete trail of evidence, of course. After they made it clear that they’d go after him if he didn’t fully cooperate, they offered him a deal.”

Ben shifted, stroking Rey’s back. “What, like a plea bargain?” 

Rey hummed, and nodded. “Sort of. Bigger, though. The FBI’s Art Crime Team tracks down stolen cultural property and works towards repatriation. They’d been after Lando for a while, and they knew he had the connections they needed to break a lot of big cases. So, between the two choices — who knows how long in prison, or being allowed to walk free, Lando chose the job. They put him to work immediately, and he’s been the key component of us getting so many cases closed.” 

She paused and traced the veins in Ben’s hand, mapping the lines with her fingertips as Ben prompted softly, “Us?” 

Rey nodded, her lips brushing against his neck as she went on.“I double-majored in art history and criminology at Corellia, and one of my classes was a seminar on cultural repatriation. I sort of fell into it, and read everything about the process that I could get my hands on. After I graduated, I went after a job with the FBI Art Crime Team. I went through the interview process, and while the agency didn’t hire me, Lando was taken with my … ehm … _enthusiasm_ and insisted I get hired on as his assistant, helping with the research and acquisitions. Lando and I are working together right now to break the biggest case we’ve ever worked yet — and Ben, it involves Snoke.”

~~~

“You’re telling me...” Ben twitched his head in an attempt to clear the fog that suddenly engulfed him. “You’re saying that Snoke — my old _boss_ Snoke — the man who made my life hell for years, is a… a what, smuggler? Shady art dealer? And you’re going after him? Rey, he’s _dangerous_.” 

His voice jumped an octave as he finished, and he felt the familiar prickle of pins and needles up and down his limbs. All he could think was _Snoke is evil, Snoke is dangerous, Rey is gonna get hurt, can’t let Alpha get hurt, ReyReyReyRey._

Stomach churning, he tapped Rey’s hips in a frantic suggestion that she stand, and hustled to the bathroom to crouch over the toilet, gagging. 

He could hear the tap running over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears, and felt the cold press of a washcloth on the back of his neck, sending goosebumps down his arms. Rey stroked his hair as he continued to bend over the toilet, until he felt confident enough to sit back on his heels, gulping in huge breaths of air as he fought to calm himself down. 

He wished it was as easy to rinse away the foul aura of Snoke as it was to rinse his mouth with the cool water Rey offered him, looking gently down at him with concern reflected in her eyes. Her tiny hand warmed his as she helped him stand and drew him back to the couch, supporting his weight as he staggered the last few steps. She settled him down on it and laid a blanket over him, sinking to her knees near his head.

He dazedly stared past Rey as his mind churned through a mountain of thoughts — the loudest of which repeated over and over, _I have to keep her safe._

~~~ 

Rey pushed the hair out of Ben’s eyes and back over his forehead, watching as his eyes fluttered shut and his breath evened out. 

Even in sleep he seemed fitful — his eyes moving behind thin lids, expressive lips pursed, forehead wrinkled in consternation. Rey sat with him, gently twisting his hair between her fingers, plaiting loose braids in it before carefully untwisting the strands and smoothing them back in place. 

It was nearly an hour later when he groaned and his eyes fluttered open. His skin felt clammy with sweat and goosebumps, but he leaned into Rey’s touch as she caressed him. “I’m sorry you saw me like that. It doesn’t happen that often, anymore. I know it’s not… Well, it’s not great.”

Rey sighed and scooted even closer to him. “Ben, it’s ok. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have sprung Snoke on you like that without warning. That was pretty shitty of me, I should have tried to protect you…” 

Her voice trailed off and she looked down, picking at the hem of her thin pajama shorts.

Ben’s stomach muscles strained as he struggled to sit up, and he pulled Rey up to sit next to him. She was tucked under his arm in no time, and they snuggled together, seeking comfort and warmth. 

“Rey, I _should_ have been able to handle it. I know I’m not a great Omega, but as a — a — a _man_ , I should be able to hear someone’s _name_ , for fuck’s sake.”

Rey sat bolt upright and cupped Ben’s cheeks, turning him to face her.

“Ben Solo, I don’t _ever_ want to hear you call yourself a ‘bad Omega’ ever again, do you hear me? You’re amazing in so many ways. Snoke — that utter _bastard_ — manipulated you for years, abused you for _years_ , Ben, and you have to unlearn everything he told you. You’re caring, and funny, and sweet, and — Ben, you’re _everything_ I’d want in an Omega.” Ben flushed and bit his lip in surprise before Rey finished, “And besides, if you’re a bad Omega, and I chose you, that means I’m a bad Alpha — which we _both_ know isn’t true.” 

She giggled softly, and Ben leaned in close to nuzzle her hair. 

“Well, who am I to argue with such a rational, well-thought-out argument?” He sighed heavily. “I’m going to make some breakfast and pour us some coffee. I’d like to hear more about your job and what Sn—” He swallowed heavily. “What Snoke’s been up to.” 

He leaned down to press what was probably meant to be a quick kiss to Rey’s lips, but her arms wound themselves around his neck and her tongue slipped out to meet his. She pressed herself into Ben’s chest, and she could almost feel him reveling in this physical sign that he was still wanted, that he was still worth something. 

Minutes — or hours — later, they pulled apart, pressing their foreheads together as they gasped for air. Rey kissed him one last time, short and sweet, and Ben chuckled and rose to rummage through her kitchen for mugs as her stomach growled. She sat back on the couch, smiling fondly at his back, calling out directions to him until he finally huffed good-naturedly, “Get in here, then, woman and help me!”

Eggs and bacon made their way from fridge to pan to plate, and Rey poured coffee as they sat at the kitchen table. They ate in silence, neither wanting to disrupt the companionable quiet with the conversation each knew they had to have. 

Ben scraped the last of his egg off his plate while Rey fiddled with the handle of her mug, and he sighed as he finally met her gaze. 

“I knew Snoke wasn’t a good man. In the beginning, it felt like belonging, like someone actually wanted me around, but as the years went on, and especially after I quit school, I was in so deep that I didn’t know how to get out.” He smiled grimly. “I guess I have you to thank for that. What happened between us in that back room got me away from him.” 

Rey reached across the table and hooked her little finger around his, linking their hands together. 

“Lando says Snoke’s been in the smuggling world for a long time — even longer than Lando. He mostly works with billionaire clients. People who think they can just throw money at a museum or country and get whatever they want in return. When they don’t get their way, they contact Snoke. His team has been behind a few museum heists, but he mostly deals with smaller groups who don’t have the power or finances to refuse him. It’s basically looting and stealing from the disenfranchised. Snoke brings things to the States in shipments of supplies, and from there…" She sighed heavily. "From there, the objects are lost, usually forever. I do the research, talk to people, and sometimes I’ve even intercepted the objects before they get onto Snoke’s planes. If we get what we’re looking for, I help in the repatriation back to their country of origin."

Ben rose and pulled the coffee pot off the counter, refilling their mugs and nudging the jug of half and half across the table to Rey before sitting back down. "That's incredible, Rey. Your job … it’s amazing. But it sounds really, _really_ dangerous. We just found each other again, and I don’t want to lose what we have. Especially with Snoke in the mix. He'll do anything to get his way, and he won't let anyone stop him. I just want you to be careful, ok?" 

His thumb rubbed across the back of Rey's hand and their eyes met across the table. Rey gave Ben a watery smile and nodded. “We’re close, Ben. _Really_ close. Just a little bit longer and it’ll be over. Snoke will be in prison and we can move on. It’s more than just the art now. The Alpha inside me is screaming at me to keep you safe, and giving you closure — putting the man who was in your head for years somewhere he can’t hurt you again... It’s like some crazy biological imperative telling me to hunt him down.”

Ben stood abruptly and circled the table to kneel by Rey’s chair. He rested his hands on her thighs and looked up at her, eyes wide open and honest.

“Thank you. It’s new for me, having someone in my court the way you are. It’s something special and I want to protect it. Protect _us_. But I don’t want to stop you from doing your job. Put him away for as long as you can. I know you can do it.” He rested his head on her thighs, and her fingers found their way into his thick hair, soothing away Ben’s anxiety with gentle strokes. 

~~~

The next month passed in a blur for Ben. Working at San Tekka’s, spending evenings writing and studying, trying to spend Fridays with Han and Leia, and fitting in time with Rey when she wasn’t travelling. 

Rey met his parents when the three of them tried to meet him for a surprise lunch on the same day. Rey was completely taken with Ben’s petite firecracker of a mother and his gruff, dashing father. His parents had also given Rey their very enthusiastic approval, especially when Ben offered vague details about her plan to bring Snoke to justice. 

Leia had been shocked into silence after hearing about Lando’s profession switch, and Han had let out a loud, “Ha! I told you, princess!” before leaving the dining table to make a phone call to his oldest friend — the friend whose cell phone number he mysteriously had kept saved in his old flip phone. 

Ben had taken to hauling his laptop and books over to Rey’s apartment while she was travelling simply to immerse himself in her presence. The amount of green, growing things in her home calmed him and reminded him of her, even when they were thousands of miles apart. 

Their relationship was still new, still a fragile thing that Ben wanted to hold close to his heart, but the thread connecting them to each other was strong and true. Even as he spent the night in her bed and she in his, they hadn’t gone farther with their physical relationship — an unspoken agreement that they’d cross _that_ bridge when Snoke wasn’t always in the back of their minds. Hot, passionate kisses were freely offered on both sides, and Ben felt confident that he’d mapped out all of Rey’s body with both his hands and his lips.

Rey was spending more and more late nights at the office with the rest of her team, putting last-minute details on the plan they were building to ensnare Snoke. Finally one day Rey packed an overnight bag, and kissed Ben goodbye as she prepared to join Lando and the others in springing their trap. 

“We’ve got a team at the airport here in Corellia, one at First Order, and one on the plane itself,” she reassured him. “I’ll be with the recon group in the office, remember. Nothing dangerous, Ben. Next time you see me, Snoke will be behind bars and all we’ll have to worry about is whether to order Thai or Italian for dinner. I promise I’ll call you as soon as I can.” 

She leaned into him as he stooped enough to nuzzle into her neck, and she turned and pressed a gentle, close-mouthed kiss to his mating gland.

“Soon, Ben.” 

He nodded, unable to speak, and followed her out the door and down the elevator to the sidewalk where her Lyft was waiting.

“I know you’re not going to be with the action teams, but be safe. Call me. I— I love you, Rey.” He spoke the words out loud for the first time, having had them tumble around his head, unspoken for weeks. He felt his body relax, for the first time in as long as he could remember, the words held actual meaning to him. He wasn’t nervous or anxious, simply...happy and at peace. 

She grinned beatifically up at him, nearly blinding him with her joy.

“I love you too, Ben. I’ll see you in a few days.” 

One last kiss, quick and hard, and Rey was in the dark sedan, the door was shut, and Ben was left behind on the sidewalk. There was nothing to do now but wait.

The first few hours weren’t bad — he went back to his apartment, did laundry, loaded the dishwasher, and checked in with his PhD advisor, making sure he was still on track with his dissertation. When he approached the microwave to reheat his cup of tea for the third time, he eyed the tepid water in disgust and threw it down the drain. 

Half an hour later, Ben was settled on the couch in Rey’s apartment, a burrito bowl balanced on his lap, and the remote in his hand. He flicked through her Netflix queue and pulled up the show they first watched together, murmuring, “Ok, Mary Berry, let’s judge the shit out of these cakes…”

He spent the rest of the day drifting between the couch and the kitchen table, unable to focus his mind on anything for long. He snarked in the direction of the TV, making snide comments about the sudden popularity of the Hollywood handshake and contestants who ran out of time to put the appropriate finishing touches on their confections. He halfheartedly worked on his dissertation — but ninth-century Anglo-Saxon burials didn’t hold his attention like they normally did, and after staring blankly at the screen until his eyes crossed, Ben finally stopped trying.

Han and Leia called to check in on him late the next morning. Leia asked if he was eating and if Ben wanted company “for just a _few_ hours,” while Han shouted, “has Rey gotten that bastard, yet?” in the background. After assuring his parents that yes, he was eating, no, he did not want them to come over, and absolutely not, Han didn’t have to call Lando and offer to help, he flopped back on the couch with a sigh.

An hour later, he dragged himself off of the couch and went for a run. Without any particular destination in mind, he found himself on the verdant Corellia University campus, and slowed to a walk, following pathways that snaked their way between the brick buildings. He stopped in front of the Arts & Architecture building, staring up at the second floor window that he knew belonged to his old office. He could just barely make out the back of someone’s head sitting at his old desk, presumably bent under the rigors of academia. 

Ben’s gaze fell on the students studying on the lawns, their soft laughter and conversations sending a pang of _something_ through his chest — the sharp reminder of what he’d given up for so many years. Maybe if he hadn’t been seduced by Snoke, consumed by the judgement he imagined from his parents, he could have been in one of those groups. He could’ve had friends, maybe, friends who would have stood by him and reminded him that he was wanted, that he was more than his designation…

But if he had taken any different path to where he was now, Rey might not have fallen back into his life. Regardless of how everything had happened, Ben knew he wouldn’t change the past for anything. 

He made his way back to Rey’s apartment, showered, and spent another couple of hours in front of the TV, clutching his phone in too-tight fingers. Every notification sent his heart into his throat, but it was never the news he was desperate to see. It was never Rey.

Ben sat alone in the dark apartment, the flickering light from the TV casting eerie shadows on the walls from the large-leafed plants that Rey was so fond of. Finally Ben clicked off the remote and headed to bed, stretching his large body across the Rey-sized frame. He shoved her pillow under his head and reached towards the bedside table that Rey had designated as his, groping around until he found his ragged copy of _The Count of Monte Cristo_ and pulled it to him, opening to the first page. 

_On the 24th of February 1815, the lookout at Notre-Dame de la Garde signalled the arrival of the three-master Pharaon…_

~~~ 

Ben jerked awake into darkness, the book falling onto the floor with a quiet _thump_. The faint buzzing and light coming from his phone drew him as he scrabbled across the comforter to grab it. 

“Rey?” 

“We got him, Ben.” She sounded exhausted, but Ben thought he hadn’t heard a better sound in his life. 

“I’m so proud of you, babe. Rey… _Thank you_.” His throat was suddenly tight with tears, and when he ran his hand over his face, it came away damp. 

“I’ll be home as soon as I hand this paperwork off to Lando. I’m guessing you’re at my place?”

Ben hummed a quiet, “mmhmm,” and Rey said a quick goodbye before hanging up.

He sat up and clicked on the bedside light, his body thrumming with energy. He moved about the bedroom anxiously, turning down the comforter and fluffing the pillows to their fullest. He even spent more time brushing his teeth than usual, and carefully folded his clothes after he stripped down to his boxer briefs, tucking them back into his overnight bag and settling back on the bed to wait. 

It seemed like an eternity before he heard the front door unlock and Rey drop her stuff in the entryway. The steady sound of her footsteps approaching the bedroom door made him feel safe, and the knowledge that _finally_ Snoke was somewhere where he couldn’t hurt anyone else, couldn’t get to him — and that his very own Alpha had made it possible — made the last shreds of anxiety disappear. 

Ben was there to embrace her as she opened the door, wrapping her in his arms and tucking her head under his chin, whispering, “I’m so glad you’re home.” 

She squeezed him tightly and stepped back, smiling and pushing her hair out of her eyes. There they stood, soaking each other in, until Rey stepped closer and brought his face down to hers. 

“He’s done, Ben. The FBI took him away and they’ll bring him to trial in the next few months — and there’s no way he’s going to be allowed bail with all of his connections. You’re _safe,_ love.”

She pressed their foreheads together and he closed his eyes, drawing in a shuddering breath. “And _you_ did it, Rey. I won’t ever be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done. He’s been hanging over me for such a long time… I can’t even believe it’s over. You didn’t call the first two days and I was convinced something must’ve gone wrong, that you — you — ” He broke off, lips trembling as he thought of the unthinkable.

Rey smiled up at him and rose up on her toes to press their lips together. “I’m here. I’m home. And _nothing_ is going to take me away from you again, I promise.” 

Ben nodded and held her tighter, his lips finding hers for a soft kiss before his tongue licked into her mouth, hungry and impatient. 

Rey groaned in the back of her throat, and she met him kiss for kiss, her body arching against his and her fingers threading through his hair. He pulled her nearly off her feet and she stiffened with a muffled yelp as he gently sat her back on the floor.

“I’m sorry! It’s been hours in a folding chair and my back is _killing_ _me._ I’m desperate for a shower and a sleep in my own bed.” 

Rey cleared her throat, and Ben guiltily dragged his gaze upward, for the first time taking in the smudges of exhaustion under her eyes and the way her shoulders hung just a little lower than usual. 

He drew her to the bathroom and started running the shower. Steam filled the bathroom as Rey undressed, leaning against the sink in her exhaustion as she waited. Ben puttered around her, folding and refolding her bath towel, settling her shampoo and conditioner on an easily accessible shelf, then realizing he left out the body wash and held all three in his large hands, looking down at them helplessly until Rey took them away and gently placed them on the edge of the tub.

“Ben, I’m ok. Are _you?_ ” 

His gaze remained firmly on his feet as he shrugged. “I’m not sure. I just want to take care of you and I don’t know how.” 

Her fingers found his and squeezed reassuringly. “You’re doing amazing, love. This is a big day — a lot’s happened. I’m going to take a quick shower and then we’ll go to bed. We can sleep and when you wake up in the morning, I’ll tell you all about it, ok?” 

Ben nodded and let her go, holding her steady as she stepped into the tub. He patted the towel he’d balanced on the sink one last time, and laid back down in bed, pulling the blanket up and over him. 

_It’s over. Rey’s here. I’m safe. She’s safe. It’s over._

A few minutes later the bed dipped as Rey slipped under the covers next to him, and he rolled to face her, laying his head on her shoulder and throwing his arm over her waist. 

She shifted and buried her nose in his hair, inhaling deeply.

“You know something I never told you? That day in the airport you smelled like the most delicious forest in the winter to me — but _anyone_ can smell like a forest, right? You smelled exactly like my first real Thanksgiving here in the States. I’d just gotten to Poe and Finn’s, and snow was everywhere, dripping off my hat onto their floor … but I just stood still, breathing everything in. Cloves from the pie, cedar from a centerpiece, the freshness of the snow as it melted…” Her voice trembled, and it wasn’t sure whether it was with exhaustion or emotion.” In that moment, I realized that I could be really, truly happy, if I let myself. And no matter how many Thanksgivings I had with them, it was never quite the same as that first one. But then I scented you, and those warm feelings came back to me immediately, and I just _knew_ that if I stuck by you, I could be even happier than I was on that first Thanksgiving. And I am, Ben. I really am.” 

Ben shuddered and finally let the tears fall that he’d been holding back since she came home — and as he cried, the anxiety and fear that he had carried with him for so long fell away with them. 

Rey held him until his sobs faded to quiet sniffles, petting his hair and whispering softly into his ear about how much she loved him and how she’d keep him safe from then on. Her fingers stroked through his hair and his grip around her waist loosened as his body relaxed fully into the sanctuary of her bed, and he drifted off to sleep. 

His last thought before his eyes drifted shut was how adored he felt, wrapped in the warmth and comfort of his Alpha, in an untouchable den made of blankets and surrounded by a potted forest of her favorite plants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: panic attack
> 
> Ben experiences a panic attack after learning that Rey is helping take down Snoke. If you want to skip this part, stop reading at Rey saying, "...and Ben, it involves Snoke." and pick right back up a few paragraphs later with "Rey pushed the hair out of Ben's eyes..." and you'll get some good, old-fashioned Alpha aftercare. <3 
> 
> I did a fair amount of googling about the FBI's Art Crime Team, and it's super fascinating stuff. That being said, I'm one million percent sure this isn't actually how they go about doing stuff IRL, so we're just gonna gloss over that and enjoy some fiction here. Also, I'm an enormous proponent of repatriation. The losses that cultures have suffered at the hands of 'well-meaning' museums and archaeologists is absolute sickening, and as appreciators/consumers of art, we need to be aware that a hefty amount of what we love to photograph in museums are actually stolen or looted items. 
> 
> Did any of you pick up on the dig on Indiana Jones in chapter 8? :) Foreshadowing FTW. 
> 
> Ben is writing his dissertation on Dark Ages burial caches in Anglo-Saxon communities. Mostly because I've been listening to too much British History Podcast.
> 
> The art for this chapter is Artemisia Gentileschi's _Jael and Sisera_ for...obvious reasons. Check it out [here](https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/jael-and-sisera/5wFvaxMutFadYw?hl=en). 
> 
> We're just gonna tie up a couple of loose ends in the next chapter or two, but pretty much from here on out...SMUT.


	10. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *plays Marvin Gaye*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, I play fast and loose with the judicial system here (and I honestly don't even care), so do with that what you will. 
> 
> TW: Brief mention of babies/pregnancy--but this fic will have ZERO of either. 
> 
> Big, huge, massive thanks to my beta Els, without whom this absolutely couldn't be possible.

Hazy sunbeams streaked across the floor in Rey’s bedroom as Ben stirred, his hips subconsciously pressing against Rey’s backside, seeking friction that even in his sleep felt like heaven. He stretched sleepily and gathered her closer to him, grinding his cock more firmly into the globe of her ass. 

It was Rey’s moan, still thick with sleep, that fully woke him. He loosened his hold on her and tried to roll away before she grabbed his wrist and scooted back, flattening her back against his chest.

“Mmm, this is a nice way to wake up,” she murmured, subtly pressing her ass into him. 

Ben laced his fingers with hers, squeezing briefly before releasing her and tracing his fingertips up the elegant column of her neck. He nuzzled close until his lips brushed the shell of her ear. “You think so?”

She moaned again as he took her earlobe between his teeth and searched for his hand, drawing it down against her chest. 

He drew soft circles around Rey’s already-pebbled nipple, his temperature rising as she ground her ass into his cock, the hard length of him fitting perfectly between her cheeks. He knew this was the point where he should roll away, offer to make her fall apart around his fingers, or to lick and suck at her until he felt drunk on her wetness and she came on his tongue. 

Whether it was the knowledge of the lazy morning ahead, or the courage of feeling utterly safe and at home, he wouldn’t remember. All he’d know afterward was that as he rolled her nipple between his finger and thumb, he thrust his hips against her and murmured into her ear, “I’m ready if you are.”

She froze only a moment before craning her neck around and capturing his lips with hers. As Rey turned, she nudged Ben onto his back, straddling his hips as the sweetness of her tongue dipped into his mouth. But the warmth of her lips was nothing compared to the scorching heat between her thighs as she pressed herself against Ben’s cock — and he wrapped his hands around her waist, grinding up into her. Her tongue was silky and hot, and he moaned in the back of his throat as he felt her tiny hand drift from his chest to the waistband of his briefs. 

Ben lifted his hips to help Rey as she sat up and scooted down his thighs enough to peel down his underwear. His cock sprang free, twitching with need as she tossed the offending fabric to the side.

His spine arched as she wrapped her fingers around his shaft and stroked firmly, and he slid his hands up her body, tugging her t-shirt up over her head. He didn’t know where the fabric fell and didn’t care; Rey reared up on her knees and brought Ben’s face to hers, finding his lips for a kiss that burned with every ounce of love and affection he could muster.

“Ben,” she murmured into his mouth.

His hands roamed her body — first up to her neck, turning her head where he wanted it so he could lick into her mouth  _ just _ the way he knew would make her moan. Then down to her nipples, tugging them between his forefingers and thumbs, applying pressure until she ground her cunt against him. He traced designs on her back before finally landing on her hips, pulling and pushing her body against his, working his cock along the juncture of her thighs until they were both breathless. 

She paused long enough to tug her underwear down and added it to the pile somewhere on the other side of the room without ever fully leaving his lap. Sitting back on his thighs, she gestured for him to prop himself up against the headboard — and Ben thought he’d never seen a more beautiful sight than this gorgeous woman astride him, hair wild from sleep and eyes heavy-lidded with desire. 

Ben pushed himself back the way Rey indicated and she ducked down, one hand on his hip for balance and the other still wrapped around his cock, lazily pumping. She wrapped her lips around his cockhead and sucked just once before he hauled her back up into his lap, slanting his mouth over hers with a desperate groan. He clutched at her ass and tilted her hips so that his cock slid through her wet folds, and — when she got the rhythm down — he thumbed her clit until Rey gasped, “Stop, stop… I want you inside me.” 

He ducked his head, flicking his tongue over her nipple as his calloused fingers found her entrance. One finger sunk easily inside of her, and as Rey shifted her hips, Ben added another, curling them in the way he knew would make her eyes roll back in her head. “You’re so  _ wet _ already.” 

Rey began to move again, head thrown back and fingers tightening on his shoulders as he flicked his tongue over each nipple in turn.

“You — know—” Rey panted as she rode his fingers, “I’m on — blockers and —  _ fuck that’s good _ — birth control. Can’t knot —  _ fuck, Ben _ — but you can finish inside — me —”

Ben nodded hazily, eyes on the curve of Rey’s arched neck, her gland on display as she chased her pleasure. He could feel her pulsing around his fingers and knew she was close, so he nuzzled closer to her, pressing the flat of his tongue against her gland. 

“I can’t wait, sweetheart. You look so beautiful right now. I wanna make you come first — can you do that for me? Can you come for me right now?” 

He curled his fingers inside her again, and Rey nearly collapsed, as though unable to continue moving on her own. Ben took over, one hand rubbing tight circles around her clit while he drove two fingers in and out of her drenched pussy. 

She wailed as she came, her body convulsing against his as he focused on bringing her down gently. She went limp against his chest as he carefully pulled his fingers out of her cunt, bringing them to eye level so he could inspect the liquid covering them before popping them into his mouth. He savored the flavor bursting on his tongue — rich and sweet, coffee and caramel. 

She sat up and stretched, rubbing herself against his neglected cock as he threw his head back against the headboard and groaned.

“My turn?” he gasped, smirking as she took him in hand and rose on her knees, positioning his cockhead at her entrance. 

“ _Our_ turn.” 

Rey sank down slowly, holding his wrists by his shoulders, staying in control. She rocked against him as she went, working him in and out in short bursts until Ben was sure he was going to explode with need before she even took all of him. 

Finally his length stretched out her inner walls and she was sitting firmly against his hips, pinning his hands beside his ears in trembling fists. She was warm — so warm — and wet, and if this was the last moment of his damn life it would’ve been worth it. 

She rolled her hips once, twice, three times before he broke free of her hold and threw his arms around her waist, drawing her nearly all the way off of him and pulling her back down, impaling her on his cock. 

“Can’t believe—” Ben grunted as he buried himself inside her. “—can’t  _ believe  _ I’m finally inside you.” 

She threw her head back, gasping, “Perfect—Ben—oh god, like  _ that _ —” as she tilted her hips  _ just so _ and leaned back to balance herself on his legs as he worked himself in and out, hips thrusting through her folds. His eyes were glued to the point where their bodies met, his cock coming nearly all the way out of her cunt before he plunged it back in. 

He could feel their combined wetness pooling beneath them, but he was more than grateful for it as he drew himself out of her and thrust abruptly back inside once again, watching Rey’s tits move as he bounced her on his lap. He brought his lips to her nipple, teasing the rosy peak, until she gasped and wove her fingers through his hair to bring him closer to her chest.

His thumb found her clit and he pressed down, using the motion of their bodies to nudge Rey closer and closer to her climax once more. She started to tremble, and Ben wrapped one arm behind her back, gathering her to him and sloppily pressing his mouths to hers. 

Rey’s tongue caressed his, hot and wet as she ground her body down, taking him to the hilt. She pulled away, hips stilling as she nibbled down his throat, one hand reaching up to brush his cheek. Her lips found his ear as she rubbed her thumb across his throat, skimming against his gland and making him thrust into her again. 

Holding Rey against him tightly, Ben flipped them both over so he lay cradled between her thighs, his weight pressing her into the sheets. He hitched one of her legs up over his hip and plunged back inside her, grinding deep while she surged up to meet him. 

“Rey — ghhh — touch yourself — I’m gonna — I’m close—” Ben gritted out between clenched teeth, his hair plastered to his forehead. He felt Rey’s hand snake between them as he snapped his hips to meet hers faster and faster, his orgasm threatening to overtake him — he could feel Rey’s core clenching around him, her body arching up to meet his. 

All thought left Ben, and he could only focus on the feeling of his swollen cock in her drenched cunt as he worked faster, her fingers grazing the base of his shaft as they slid over her clit. He thrust into her until his breath caught in his throat and Rey’s cunt clenched down on him, pulsing with her orgasm as she stiffened below him, groaning his name as she came.

_ Just a little more, just a little more _ , a voice in Ben’s head chanted until Rey reached up and rubbed his gland, spreading her wetness all over the raised mark and making stars erupt through his vision. 

Two more thrusts and he was over the edge, his whole body shaking and his toes cramping as he emptied into her, hips still flexing as he came. He could feel his cum dripping out of her as he slowly softened, but he kept gently rocking, feeling the  _ need _ to push his spend as far into her cunt as he possibly could. 

Ben hissed as he slid out of Rey, careful to collapse next to her on the bed before pulling her close. Their bodies melted into the mattress and Ben groped around to find the sheets, yanking them up over Rey as she rested her head on his shoulder, drawing designs on his chest.

“Was it what you hoped it would be — being with me?” 

Ben hummed sleepily in response, pressing a kiss to her temple. “Better, sweetheart. It was so much better.”

~~~

And so life continued. Rey spent her days helping Lando and the FBI’s prosecution team put together a case against Snoke; Ben spent his time between work, their apartments, and the library, writing endless paragraphs about burial mounds, Princely Burials, and the merits of inhumation versus cremation. 

As Rey worked longer hours to ensure Snoke went to jail for a very long time, Ben’s anxiety steadily grew. They learned through trial and error how to manage it — Ben seeing Dr. Tano twice a week and increasing his medication; Rey pressing her body against any part of him she could touch to ground and calm him. They spent hours with Ben flat on the couch, Rey wrapped around him like a baby animal clinging to its mother for comfort. Ben slept with his head resting on Rey’s chest, the sound of her heartbeat lulling him to sleep and reminding him that she wasn’t going anywhere, that he was safe and loved. 

When the trial dates were announced, Rey came home looking wan and exhausted, feeling as if all her work was now out of her hands and hinged on a judge and jury seeing the truth of J.J. Snoke. Ben took care of her — cooking her favorite dinner and putting on her favorite TV shows without complaining. That night they whispered in bed, cocooning themselves in warmth and security under the duvet.

“I’ve done all I can. I just hope it was enough.” Rey sniffed, tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. Ben gathered her closer to him, pressing kisses in her hair. “It’ll be enough. It’s got to be enough. You’ve done so much, sweetheart.”

They continued murmuring to each other, words of love and plans for the future when Snoke wasn’t hanging over them like a black stormcloud. Before long, their words turned to slow and fevered caresses, their bodies saying more than their mouths could form into words. 

~~~

The first day of the trial dawned bright and sunny — as if the weather refused to reflect Ben’s dark mood and Rey’s quiet stress. Ben chose to stay home, managing his anxiety through a schedule of exercise, writing, and stress baking more loaves of bread than the two of them could possibly consume. Rey returned late in the afternoon to Ben sitting silently on the couch, watching sunbeams trace patterns across her apartment’s floor. 

The trial was going well, she said. The jury seemed sympathetic to the prosecution’s case and wary of Snoke’s attempted ‘innocent elderly gentleman’ act. 

Ben heaved a sigh of relief and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close to nuzzle into her belly before standing and lumbering into the kitchen to pull more bread out of the oven. That night they feasted on it in bed, butter dripping down their fingers and chins, taking on the characters of the judges on Rey’s favorite show and laughing hysterically together as Ben’s voice increased in pitch as he proclaimed his bread to have “a crack that’s nice and moist.” 

Each day that followed made Ben feel like yarn pulled taut — he hadn’t quite snapped  _ yet _ , but every day that Rey was at the courthouse made the little threads that held his mental health together fray and begin to shred. Rey dropped quiet hints about reaching out more often to his therapist, but Ben shrugged silently and pulled her against him, pushing their worries aside as they found peace with each other. 

She still seemed confident that they had the jury in their favor, and told Ben that the judge appeared to see through Snoke’s explanations and excuses, that everything the corrupt old man said was just a little  _ too _ convenient. 

Friday night rolled around, and Rey had to drag Ben to his parents’ house, insisting that it would be good for both of them to see Han and Leia and eat something other than carbs. Ben was subdued to the point of near-silence, his brain racing through worst-case scenarios as they walked up the walkway to his childhood home. Even as the door swung open, spilling welcoming amber light across the lawn, he was restrained and distracted. 

Leia flung her arms around him, and Han pressed a tumbler with two fingers of honey-clear liquid into his hands, drawing Ben into the warmth of his family home. Rey got her hug from Leia as well, and the two women traipsed into the kitchen, furtively murmuring about the trial and Ben as the men settled on the couch in the living room. 

Han tried to lighten the mood with old stories about long road trips with Ben’s childhood dog, Chewie, but when the stories came around to include Lando, Han’s voice trailed off into a gruff, “I’m sure that old bastard Snoke will get what’s coming to him, kid,” as Ben hummed absently and stared at the wall, swirling the glass of bourbon in his hand. 

They lapsed into silence before Rey came in and sat on the arm of the couch beside Ben, gently tugging the cup from his hands and taking a sip.“Leia’s putting the challah on the table. Come and eat.” 

The three of them quietly took their places around the table as Leia struck a match, lighting two tapers in tall candlesticks and beginning, “ _ Baruch atah Adonai… _ ”

Ben closed his eyes and let his mother’s familiar voice, gone raspy with age, wash over him. The words he had memorized for most of his life grounded him and reminded him that he was with the people who loved him most  — protected, secure, and safe. His parents, who’d welcomed him back with nothing less than joy, their own differences seemingly surmounted for the sake of their family. Rey, who had quite literally changed his life, transforming it from grayscale nothing to the rich color of her favorite lush Rococo paintings. 

He loosened up after his first glass of sweet wine poured from the Kiddush cup, and  — no doubt thanks in part  to Leia and Rey’s eternal optimism and insistence on enjoying the night  — conversation began flowing naturally. His father good-naturedly ribbed his mother, who sassed him right back, teasing him about his messy mop of gray hair. Ben held Rey’s hand under the table like they were teenagers, and as he smiled softly as his parents’ banter, he felt Rey squeeze his fingers. 

His heart surged at the simple gesture, knowing that she was wondering what their relationship would look like in thirty years, just like he was. 

When Ben rose to help Rey gather the plates after the last of the chicken was eaten, Leia tugged his sleeve, stopping him. “Dad’ll help Rey with the dishes, Ben. Sit with me?” 

Ben knew better than to refuse his mother, especially when she framed a command as a question like that  — so he sat, watching Han take the serving platters to the kitchen, Rey following close behind balancing a stack of teetering plates. He pulled his wine closer and drank deeply, finishing the glass and watching the legs streak down the thin walls of Leia’s wedding crystal, waiting for his mother to speak.

“You ok, Benji? Worried about Snoke?” 

He forced a chuckle. His mother never  _ had _ been one to mince words. 

“I’m fine. Just got a lot going on right now with school and Rey… ” He trailed off, not daring to meet his mother’s gaze.

“Benjamin Solo, you know that girl would do anything for you, right?”

“Ma —”

“You listen to me, now. Rey’s worked her ass off to put that disgusting excuse for an Alpha behind bars  — a nd if you think she’s only doing it because of her  _ job _ , then you’re as dense as your father.” 

His eyes fell as his mother threaded her fingers through his. Not for the first time he marveled at the strength in her gnarled hands. Her diminutive size notwithstanding, Leia was always a force to be reckoned with, and she knew it. 

She smiled at him, but it was tinged with melancholy. “Ben, your dad and I love you. But we couldn’t do what she’s doing for you, not even when you were a kid. She’s given you stability and strength, she’s helped you heal after years of abuse. You’re happier now than I remember seeing you, even when you were a kid — ”

“I know, Ma. Believe me, I  _ know _ . When we’re together ... it’s everything. I can see everything I’ve ever wanted laid out in front of me, and it’s fucking terrifying.” 

“ _ Language _ , Benji,” Leia muttered, and Ben rolled his eyes skyward.

“It’s  _ terrifying _ .” He paused, trying to make sense of his own jumbled thoughts. “I want everything with Rey. I want mating and a wedding and babies —  not  _ now _ , Ma, jeez —  but what if Snoke doesn’t go to jail and somehow takes everything away from me again? I don’t think I’d survive it…”

“They’ll put him away .  Rey and everyone at the FBI have worked hard on this case, you  _ know _ that.”

His deepest, darkest fear finally bubbled to his lips: “And what if he  _ doesn’t _ get convicted?”

“If he doesn’t somehow get locked up, then we deal with it together. As a family. Your dad, Rey, and I will help make sure you feel safe.” She squeezed his hand tight, anchoring him amid the dizzying anxiety. “I  _ swear _ it, Benji. Let us be there for you like we weren’t for so many years. Trust us.”

Ben jerked to his feet, knocking his chair back against the wall  — and before he knew what was happening, his tiny mother had her arms wrapped tightly around him and he was bent nearly in two, weeping into her shoulder. 

~~~

When Rey and Han walked in on them a few minutes later, Leia was whispering into her son’s ear. He nodded, red faced and blotchy, before straightening up and giving his mother a kiss on her forehead. 

Han clapped his hands and asked loudly, “Everything ok out here? Leia? Ben? You good?” 

Leia stepped back from Ben, giving him an affectionate pat on the cheek before turning to Rey. “You two should head home —  it’s getting late and you don’t need to hang around us old folks all night.” The last statement was said cheekily over her shoulder as she made her way into the kitchen, leaving Han to mourn, “She’s gonna give you all my chicken. I wanted that for sandwiches…”

By the time Rey and Ben made their way to the door, Leia had conjured up their coats and a foil-wrapped parcel of leftovers. Hugs were exchanged all around, and Leia sternly extracted a promise from her son and his fiery-eyed girlfriend to call them as soon as the verdict was read.

Han and Leia stood on the stoop of the house arm in arm, porchlight spilling over their shoulders as they watched Ben and Rey clamber into the sedan and slowly back out of the driveway. 

Their watchful eyes followed the car down the street until it turned and was lost to sight.Leia squeezed her husband’s hand, still not trusting herself to look away from the darkness. “He’ll be ok, right?” 

Han brushed a kiss across her cheek and squeezed her tight. 

“He’s got her, Princess. And she won’t let anyone hurt him. They’ll both be just fine.” He poked her playfully in the ribs. “And I give it two years before you’re bouncing their baby on your knee.”

She grinned up at him as they headed back inside. “Two? Oh,  _ Han _ . I give it a year, at most.” 

Leia carefully shut the door behind them, and that night she dreamed of a chubby baby, all dark curls and hazel eyes, tenderly cradled against her son's chest.

~~~

The weekend passed quickly, but when Monday rolled around and Rey went back to the courthouse, Ben found his days passing agonizingly slowly once more. His mind constantly wandered, and Rey had to continuously remind him where he put his tea, his keys, and which book he’d gone to the bookshelf to find.

They’d made plans for Ben to come to the courthouse to hear the verdict with Rey, but that morning he awoke so shaky and anxious that Rey did everything short of using an Alpha command to convince him to stay home. 

“I’m fine, Rey. It’s just nerves. I’ll be ok,” Ben snapped, buttoning his shirt and combing his hair back from his face after she delivered a particularly plaintive “ _ please, Ben,” _ complete with promises to give him everything from gourmet meals to tropical vacations. 

His fractious mood made Rey snap her mouth shut and storm out of the bedroom,  — and  when he emerged a few minutes later to offer a quiet, sheepish apology, she only nodded.

One silent trip down the stairs to the parking garage later found Ben trying to open the passenger door of his car three times, trembling fingers betraying him before Rey coaxed it open and gently helped him into the car, taking her spot behind the wheel. 

The drive downtown to the courthouse took forever, and Ben’s fingers drummed a pattern on his thigh that became more and more frantic until Rey wrapped her hand around his, lacing their fingers together on his knee, which then began to bounce in an equally frenetic manner. 

There was no stopping it.

His other hand flicked the window switch down, and as the glass moved to allow a breath of fresh air to breeze into the car, Ben shivered, the cool morning air turning sweat beading on the back of his neck to ice.

He pressed the button next to his thigh to raise the window again  — and this pattern repeated until Rey finally pulled into the courthouse’s parking lot, easing Ben’s sedan into a spot on the lowest level.

His feet felt leaden as they climbed the stairs up to the courthouse, each step taking an immense amount of effort until, halfway up, he stopped altogether.

Rey was jerked back by their intertwined fingers, and she turned back on the step ahead of him, he knew what she’d see. The hulking form of her boyfriend, shoulders pulled inward and hunching miserably in his jacket, stared fixedly at his shoe as he scuffed the worn marble steps. Unable to meet her gaze. Unable to go on.

Rey’s palm felt cool against his cheek as she cupped his face, tilting his face up to look at her fully. He leaned into the touch, lips trembling with every shaky breath.

"I've got you, Ben,” she murmured. “It's just you and me right now, none of the rest of this matters. You say the word and we can go home, ok?"

He shook his head, dashing away tears that had gathered before they could fall. “No. I can do this. I need to do this. I need to watch.”

The kiss Rey pressed to his forehead made a renewed strength surge through his legs  — and hand-in-hand, they strode into the courthouse to hear Snoke’s fate.

~~~

The hours that followed passed like discarded cuttings from a film reel; flashes of scenes shoved together, and then, abruptly, a long scene he'd remember later as being clear as glass. 

The bang of the gavel as the judge called the courtroom to order.

The jury lined in two rows of chairs against one wall, illuminated by sunlight from the window directly opposite.

The chemical perfume of industrial-strength cleaners mingling with the smell of  _ too many people  _ in one room.

The soothing pressure of Rey's hand in his, squeezing tightly as Snoke was escorted past them to his seat at the front of the room, looking thin and small, his grey suit hanging off him like a body bag.

An unending silence as everyone held their breath, waiting for the verdict.

Shouts of  —  joy? anger? He wasn't even sure  — after a juror announced their decision, and the judge slammed the gavel down to excuse them. 

The slump of Snoke’s shoulders, his  _ smallness _ compared to the uniformed men flanking him, and then—

_ Don't turn don't see me don't speak to me walk by walk by please _ —

"Benjamin — my boy — it's been so long. Help me, speak to my lawyer, here's his card…"

_ Nonononono. I’m so hot too hot no now I’m cold, no no no nononono _ —

Blood rushed into Ben's head as Snoke reached for him, thin skin stretched across digits that were more talons than fingers. He shied away, stumbling back, but the monster still clutched at his sleeve.

_ I'll burn this shirt, I'll burn it and he won't touch me again _ —

Rey's hand clasped Ben's thigh as she shoved him behind her, protecting him bodily — and he  _ felt _ more than saw her knuckles turn white as she hissed at Snoke, "Stay away from him! You got what you deserved, you nasty, evil—"

_ Alpha will protect me, Alpha is here _ —

"Benjamin, this is a mistake, you have to believe me, it's all a misunderstanding; call my lawyer, son—”

_ Han and Leia, Han and Leia, dinners and holidays and board games and baseball games and family _ —

" **I'M NOT YOUR SON**!" 

Ben’s voice echoed in the stillness of the room, all other conversations dying on astonished lips as he glared at the withered old man, fists clenched and chest heaving.

Then … nothing.

Snoke’s lawyer forcibly pulled Ben’s former boss, former mentor, former emotional captor away, muttering something about discussing sentencing while keeping a wary eye on Ben as they left.

Rey didn’t let go of him once as she gathered up their things, telling her colleagues that she'd meet up with them later and then drawing Ben out of the courtroom and into a quiet alcove down the hall. 

Ben hung his head, shoulders shaking, as Rey peered up at him. "Shit, Ben, are you ok?"

A choking noise erupted from Ben's throat that wasn't crying — it was  _ laughter.  _ Slightly hysterical, manic laughter, but laughter nonetheless. Laughter that echoed down the stillness of the corridor until he drew a great lungful of air, trying to remember how to breathe and speak all at once.

"It's  _ over.  _ He'll die in prison, he's so old, he has to be nearly ninety, he won't last in prison, Rey. I'm free. He can't find me. He won't touch me or talk to me or, or, or…." He knew he was rambling, the words bubbling up out of him like a spring deep in the woods. The sudden feeling of being  _ absolutely _ free washed over him and he staggered under the power of it all.

Rey watched him, a concerned expression on her face as he reeled backward. He felt sweat beading up on the small of his back, followed by a sudden chill running down his spine —  but it didn’t matter.

He was free.

"Ben? Are you sure you're okay? Talk to me, love."

He caught Rey by the waist and lifted her off the ground, spinning her in a euphoric circle as he pressed his face into her neck and inhaled deeply. "I'm fine. I'm better than fine. This is amazing." 

Ben released her just enough to let her tiny body slide down his, and they stood together quietly, engrossed in each other until quiet voices drifted over to them and they stepped apart.

Still he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her hand.

"Rey," Ben breathed, " _ thank you _ . I know this was more than a job for you. I can't believe — This is the best thing anyone's ever done for me..." 

Rey gazed up at him, but her brilliant smile faded to concern. “Ben, that’s so lovely, and you’re more than welcome — but a re you sure you’re feeling alright? You look flushed.”

He brushed her concerned look away with a wobbly grin. “I’m  _ fine _ . You’re taking after my mother, I swear. Don’t they work for you?” he added and nodded at a cluster of people walking up behind her. 

“You guys coming to lunch?” someone quickly asked.

Rey looked up at him, mouth opening like she was about to give their apologies and go home — but Ben spoke faster. “You should go, sweetheart. You’re right, I’m not feeling well, so I’m gonna go home and maybe take a nap. I’ll see you when you come home.” 

She drew him a few steps away from her coworkers and looked him up and down with a critical glint in her eyes. “You were feeling fine earlier, Ben. What’s going on? I can come with you, make you some soup or something—”

“Rey, I’m  _ just fine _ . It’s just been a long morning. I’ll probably pass out as soon as I get through the door, anyway. Have fun. Celebrate! You earned it. And when you get home, we can have our own celebration. I promise I’m ok, Alpha.” 

He whispered the last sentence , but his use of her title seemed to settle her, and off she went with her work friends, throwing a cheeky kiss behind her as she went. 

On his walk to his car, Ben found himself absentmindedly taking off his jacket and undoing the first two buttons of his crisp button-down. The air conditioning was set to full blast as soon as he sat down in the leather seat, but soon that wasn’t enough, and he rolled all the windows down as well, letting the air flow through his hair as he drove to his apartment. 

Sweat beaded on his forehead and trickled down his spine despite the breeze in the car — and by the time he made his way up the stairs to his apartment his gait was more of a stumble than a walk.

Cramps wrenched through him and he doubled over, arm pressed tight against his belly just to keep moving. 

It wasn’t until he was blessedly inside his apartment, ripping his shirt over his head in his haste to cool down and moving to frantically tackle the button and zipper on his pants that it hit him fully. 

He had forgotten his suppressants. Today. Yesterday. Maybe even the day before. 

He was achingly hard.

And he was alone. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks tomatoes*
> 
> Guess what's gonna happen next, guys? 
> 
> Art for this chapter is _The Lovers_ , by one of the Masters from the Fontainebleau School. Fontainebleau is a royal palace that Francis I began in 1528 and was added on to for the next 200 years. The 'Fontainebleau' style encompasses sculpture, metalwork, painting, stucco, and woodwork, and was evolved by Italian artists Niccolò dell'Abbate, Primaticcio, and Rosso. This school introduced Mannerism to France, and while we don't know what artist painted our lovers, it was almost certainly from the First School of Fontainebleau, around the mid-16th century. Check out the painting [here](https://www.wikigallery.org/wiki/painting_211746/Master-of-the-Fontainebleau-School/The-Lovers).


	11. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is it, loves! The final chapter. 
> 
> Sorry it's taken so long--life is...well, it's pretty crazy right now. Turns out homeschooling two kids who don't particularly want to be homeschooled is...uh...challenging. Go figure. Anyway, I hope this chapter lives up to everyone's expectations! 
> 
> I've gotta sing praises to my absolutely brilliant beta and friend, Elegy, who whipped this story into shape. Without her, I'm pretty sure this would be "Rey and Ben met. They had sex. Snoke was there, too." Please check out her on Twitter [here](https://twitter.com/ElegyGoldsmith), and then click through to her fics [here](https://archiveofourown.org/users/elegygoldsmith) on AO3. Trust me when I say you'll want to read everything she posts. xoxo, Els--you truly are my fairy godmother.

Overwhelmed didn’t even begin to describe how Ben felt, leaning back against his front door with his blood roaring in his ears, skin prickling in frustration at the fact that — yet again — he was in heat without his Alpha to tend to him. He could feel it physically, heavy in the pit of his stomach, dark mist spreading through his limbs and taking over his body. 

If Ben had learned to accept any fact about his biological nature, it was that Omegas were _meant_ to have Alphas with them during heats. Not only for their knot, but for the tender care afterwards — to feed them, stroke them, hold them close, until their Omega was ready and dripping, begging to take their knot again, and again, and again…

Rey wasn’t here — again. She wasn’t in his apartment, naked, bouncing on his cock like he _needed_ her to be. She wasn’t pressed against his bedroom wall, his fingers making divots in the meat of her ass as he slowly fed his cock into her waiting heat. She wasn’t sprawled out under him on his mattress, his slick making iridescent patterns on her thighs as they were knotted together the way they were meant to be. 

Imagining Rey sent a rush of tortuous arousal through Ben’s body, and he felt slick seeping through the fabric of his jeans. 

The tacky feeling of wet denim against his skin sharpened his fuzzy mind long enough to fumble in his pocket for his phone, dragging his thumb across the glass to bring up the call screen. His fingers left sweaty smears in their wake, and he had to wipe them on his thigh before he could tap on Rey’s image to start a call. 

Six rings later, the phone fell from his shaking hand as her cheerful voice asked him to _please leave a message_ . Hearing her voice caused another surge of searing … _what?_ Arousal? Pain? It was all beginning to blur into the same concoction of pleasure and agony as his body succumbed to his rising heat. 

Leaving his shirt in a pile on the floor, he worked the zipper on his pants down and pushed them down his thighs, stumbling when he bent to toe off his loafers. He made his way to the bedroom, staggering against the wall as he went, vaguely registering the sounds of something — a picture frame, maybe? — hitting the ground as a particularly painful cramp shot through his body. 

Ben tugged his socks off and threw them against the wall; his pants followed, leaving him standing in the middle of his bedroom in his boxer briefs, gasping for breath, fingers twitching against his thighs as he fought the urge to fist his cock in his hand and stroke himself until he blacked out. 

He needed distraction. A shower, maybe?

Yes, that could work.

He managed to make his way into the bathroom, pawing at the controls with trembling hands until water that was vaguely warm enough to stand under tumbled from the waterfall faucet. 

But showers meant naked skin, steam, and relaxation —and before Ben could help himself, he peeled his soaked briefs down and let them fall to the floor with a _splat._

He spread his slick along his length, wrapping long fingers around his cock and giving himself a hard pump. One stroke became two, and two became three, and soon he was leaning wide-legged against the wall, fist moving furiously as he panted. Water trickled onto his face and he stared dazedly at the tile on the wall, hips moving in motion with his hand. His body shook with the exertion of chasing an orgasm that still felt completely out of reach. 

“FUCK!” Ben bellowed, slamming his fist against the tile and ripping the shower curtain open, practically wrenching the shower knob from the wall in his haste to turn off the water. He lurched into the bedroom and dug through his dresser, frantically pulling out items and pressing them to his face, inhaling deeply before tossing them on the bed or discarding them back to the depths of his drawers.

A purple sweater was kept, while a pair of socks were tentatively sniffed and quickly shoved back into the drawer. He grabbed the scrunchie Rey used to put her hair up at night and rubbed the velvet between his fingers before slipping it over his wrist. The silk scarf she brought back from Paris was pulled off a hook in the closet and rubbed across his chest before he carefully added it to his stash on the bed, her bathrobe thrown haphazardly on top.

Soon there was a mountain of clothing on his mattress, and he plopped himself in the center of the pile, fussing and rearranging each piece until it formed a perfect circle around him. Done with his primping and fluffing, Ben laid his head against a pair of leggings and pulled a daisy-printed sweatshirt over his face, rubbing his cheek into the soft fleece. 

He stretched, reaching far enough to yank the bedside curtains closed, turning his normally bright bedroom into a quiet den. Once his heat was over he’d probably look at his last-minute attempt with derision, but for now he’d created something cozy, a place that almost dripped with her scent.

Ben inhaled raggedly and rolled to his side, rutting against Rey’s robe. He could feel his temperature rising as the terry cloth fabric rubbed against his leaking cock, leaving a trail of slick and precum as he ground against the walls of his hastily-built nest. 

He could smell sea salt and caramel on her clothes; more than just her scent, it was her flavor, her essence — and he swallowed hard as his vision blurred and his back arched. His cock twitched, and a decidedly lackluster orgasm shook his body.

Cum dribbled half-heartedly onto the fabric, and tears prickled in his eyes as he realized he was still hard — the orgasm that he’d chased so diligently did absolutely _nothing_ for him — and he was barely two hours into his heat. 

He curled his overlarge body in on itself, tunneling his feet under a pile of sweaters and pulling the slick-wet robe over his body as he braced for his next urge to fuck. All while a mental refrain repeated over and over in his mind, urging Rey to _come home, find me, please, Alpha._

Ben drifted in the liminal space between sleep and wakefulness, kicking the makeshift covers off as his body warmed, and tugging whatever he could touch back over him when the chills came. Occasionally he gave his cock a perfunctory rub, or gathered slick with curved fingers, pressing on the sensitive patch of skin hidden behind the tightness of his balls before shifting forward again to roll them in his palm. 

Time could have passed in an instant, or he could have laid there for hours, a victim of his own biology. 

His eyelids were heavy and his limbs ached when he startled awake some time later, panicked and wide-eyed as he heard his front door open and shut, and a soft voice call out, “Ben?”

~~~

He flung himself onto his back, limbs stretching out, and when he tried to respond, his mouth was dry and he was only able to croak out a strained, “ _Rey”_. 

His bedroom door opened a crack and Rey peeked around the frame, trapping a scarf to her mouth with one hand. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of him, writhing amidst her clothes on his bed, his cock laying heavy against his stomach, the head red and ruddy and leaking so steadily that slick dribbled down his hip to pool on the mattress. 

“I — ahhh — didn’t think you’d come,” Ben groaned. “How’d you know?”

She edged into the bedroom a little more, still holding onto the door like it was a shield, but seemingly unable to rip her gaze from Ben’s body. “You called. You didn’t say anything on the message but I heard the phone fall, so I was worried. This is…” The hand holding the scarf to her face tightened. “You’re in heat, right?” .

“It hurts, Alpha. Help me?” Ben’s fists were crushing whatever fabric he could find in an effort to not get off the bed and throw himself at her, and his hips began to move in a fruitless effort to gain any sort of friction on his cock.

“If I stay…” She gulped audibly behind the scarf. “If I stay, I’ll rut. You’re not too far gone, I have emergency—”

“No. I want it. Alpha, _please_ .” He was whining now, he knew he was, but he couldn’t help himself. His body was on fire, his blood was thrumming, and he was so _hard_ that he knew he’d come harder than he ever had if she would — just — _touch_ — him. 

Rey stepped in the room and closed the door behind her with a quiet click. She slowly began to unwind the scarf that was no doubt protecting her from his spiking scent — and as soon as her nose was exposed to the musky air of the bedroom, Ben saw her lick her lips in appreciation. _I did that, I pleased my Alpha._

“You’re touching yourself, Ben.” He didn’t even realize that he had taken his cock in hand and was stroking it until her stern voice broke into his hazy headspace.

“S-sorry?” 

“Don’t apologize. You have a beautiful body. A beautiful cock.” She began unbuttoning her blouse, pulling the hem out from where it was tucked into her skirt. “But Ben, it’s _my_ job to take care of you. Alphas take care of their Omegas. Will you let me take care of you, Ben?” 

Ben’s eyes were darting between the exposed skin of her collarbones, the lace of her bra that barely covered her dusky nipples, the softness of her belly and the sharpness of her hip bones. He nodded hastily as Rey prompted him with a “Hmm?” and he pulled his hand reluctantly from his cock, whimpering at the sudden lack of contact. 

“You didn’t think I would come for you?” 

Ben shook his head, wide eyed and distraught at the vague thought of riding out a heat on his own. 

“I promised you I’d be here for you, love.” Her voice softened. “You know I love you. Can I tell you how much? Can I show you?” 

Her hands moved to the side zipper on her skirt and she dragged it down slowly, exposing the matching lace boy shorts that cupped her ass as she turned around and gazed at Ben over her shoulder. 

“Can I? Please?” At the quiet desperation in her voice, Ben sat up and reached for her, but she stepped back, resting against the door, with a finger held up in front of her. “No, Ben. I’m going to talk. You can listen, and follow directions, can’t you?” 

He deflated a little at the thought, but her next murmured words stoked the fires of arousal that were burning in his belly.

“Lay down. Be good for me. _Such_ a good Omega.” 

He settled back into his nest and she took a few steps forward, stopping at the foot of the bed so he could still see her. 

“Such a good boy. I can smell you, _Omega_. I could smell you from outside your apartment. You’re dripping wet. Is it for me?” 

She drew her hands down her shoulders, tracing the thin fabric of her bra over the curve of her breasts, and Ben moaned as he watched her cup her breasts and circle each nipple in turn, bringing them to points visible through the lace. 

His hands moved in abruptly disjointed bursts, trying to ground himself _somehow_ but knowing he wasn’t allowed to touch himself. He tugged a fistful of hair, but Rey’s forehead creased in consternation. That wouldn’t do. 

His teeth found the meat of one palm while the other felt around for the floral sweatshirt that used to be draped over his face. A low _tsk_ from Rey made him meet her eyes, and he pulled his hand out of his mouth, seeing the indentations his teeth left behind before his trembling fists finally came to rest at his sides. 

“Rey—I need—I want—” 

“I told you, no talking,” Rey scolded as her fingers skirted down her own body, curving around her hips before drawing patterns along the peach-colored lace of her panties. Both hands edged between her thighs and she drew a sharp inhale; Ben’s eyes snapped to the scrap of cloth covering her curls and he _swore_ he could see a slight darkening that hinted at her arousal. 

“I’m already wet, Ben. Just thinking — _ah_ — about what we’re gonna do, it’s made me _so wet_.” 

He preened proudly; he was wanted so much, he made his Alpha want him so much. 

“Can I just—” He slammed his lips together as Rey advanced on him, brow furrowed as she moved around the side of the bed. She reached for his wrist, careful to not brush his skin as she plucked at the forest green scrunchie. 

“If you keep being naughty, I’m going to have to find a way to _make_ you be quiet, Ben. And that would be such a shame.” She snapped the elastic against his wrist again, and he stacked the sensation on top of the twisted pleasure/pain rippling through his body. “I’ll put this between your pretty lips, love, if you can’t follow directions. Can you be a good boy for me?” 

Conflicted, Ben nodded cautiously as a fountain of slick gushed out of his cock, clearly appreciative of this new version of Rey he was meeting. He let himself float on waves of heat and _want_ , muzzy-headed and itching to palm his cock, but not wanting to disappoint the Alpha who was standing by him, eyes shadowed and lips parted in arousal.

He huffed out a breath — pain, need, relief, _want_ all rolled into one hiss of sound — as Rey stepped back and continued exploring her own body, lithe fingers dipping under the lace of her panties as she murmured, “Benjamin, touch yourself for me.” 

His hand flew to his cock and he pumped his fist up and down his length, smearing slick along his glans as Rey drew slow circles around her clit. Her hips began to chase the friction and she gave a long, drawn-out moan as she sunk two fingers inside of her with a wet sound. 

Ben adjusted his grip, loosening just slightly and adding a twist to the rise and fall of his hand, letting slick drip onto his thighs and soaking his entire lower half and the mattress. As much as he wanted to come _right then and there_ , he felt like he could edge himself into oblivion with Rey looking at him the way she was — like she was ravenous. 

His eyes rolled back and he closed his lids, focusing on the wet sounds of his hand on his cock and Rey’s throaty moans as she fucked herself on her fingers. 

Ben jolted as a sudden touch traced the curves of his lips, but he relaxed as Rey gently nudged them apart, allowing her to press wet fingers against his tongue. He closed his lips and desperately sucked her fingertips, hopelessly frantic to get his fill of her flavor as it burst on his tongue. 

She twisted her hand, helping him to lick her essence before drawing her hand back to twist at her nipple, the other hand shoving her panties down her hips before burrowing its way into her pussy.

He stared up at her as her lips parted. _Please please please Alpha…_

“Are you wet for me, Omega?” she gasped.

“Wet,” Ben grunted, heels finding purchase against his nest as he fucked up into his own fist faster. “Alpha, I can’t—”

“You can, Ben. You _are,_ ” she crooned as his hips continued thrusting upward, shaking the bed in his enthusiasm. “I love how you’re so—” Her body shook with pleasure as her fingers rubbed her clit, “—you’re so _messy_.”

His arm was aching from the exertion, and the unrelenting tugs on his cock weren’t bringing him to the orgasm his body craved. Omegas needed their Alphas, after all. 

He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down, squirming at the pop of pain before releasing and soothing the spot with his tongue, feeling where the sharp points of his teeth had indented his plush lip. 

His body was shaking now, his balls cradled tight against his body as his cock leaked nonstop, but still he couldn’t quite get _there_. 

Ben’s head lolled back against the pile of clothing. “Alpha, _please_ — help me,” he moaned. “I can’t. I need you.” 

A positively wolfish grin spread across Rey’s face. and she climbed onto the bed beside him, slinging one leg over his thighs and settling herself between his knees. A wet finger slid across his mating gland, now raised and pulsing, and his belly warmed as she pressed a loud kiss into him. 

Rey sat up and batted his hand away from his cock, tongue darting out to catch a dribble of precum and slick,swirling it around his head. She mouthed up and down his length, moaning; as Ben sat up on his elbows, her blown pupils gave her a feral appearance, reddened mouth full of his cock as she met his gaze.

Ben caught her under her armpits and hauled her up the length of his body, groaning loudly as her wet cunt slid across his cock. Their lips met hungrily, and Ben’s hands drifted to Rey’s waist as their tongues swirled together, guiding her hips in little circles until she drew back, wrapping her fingers around his cock as she sat back on his thighs. The torrent of slick from Ben’s body eased her strokes, letting her fingers slide over him easily as she traced the veins on his cock. 

Rey leaned forward, pressing her nose to the side of his neck and licking the raised patch of his mating gland. The feeling of her warm tongue laving Ben’s gland had him bucking up into her fist as she murmured whispered words of praise and filth in his ear. 

His hand flew to his cock and he took over for her, pumping himself harder and faster. He grunted with the effort, his body _still_ not quite able to get there, maybe if she would just fuck him, sit on his face, take him inside her, knot him, knot him knot him _knot him…_

His brow furrowed and she tenderly wiped tears of frustration off his cheek as he nearly sobbed, “I can’t _come! Why can’t I come?”_

He writhed under Rey as her hand wrapped itself around his, guiding him up and down his cock.

“You can, and you will. You’re going to come to the sound of me telling you how perfect you are—how perfect you are for _me_ . You’re so good, such a _good_ Omega; you love me, and you take care of me, and you’re so brave…” 

He whined at the words, a recognizable heat pulsing through his body and settling at the base of his spine.

“Come,” Rey crooned. ”You can come now, darling.”

Ben lost himself even before he could think, cum spurting onto her belly and his, painting her breasts and nearly reaching his chin. 

Lights burst behind his shut eyelids as his body stuttered and his thighs trembled, his back bowing off the bed so that Rey was nearly unseated. One hand was still loosely wrapped around his cock, and he brought the other up to palm helplessly at Rey wherever he could reach. 

He dragged his fingers through the mess of cum on her stomach, casually painting the letter _B_ above her bellybutton with a contented sigh. 

As tempting as it was for Ben to lay back and sink into his nest, taking the opportunity to rest before the cramps and need took over his body again, he leaned up and captured Rey’s lips with his, nipping at her lower lip and soothing it with gentle swipes of his tongue. He pulled her farther up, dragging her wet cunt over his still half-hard cock, flattening his tongue against the shell-pink flesh of her nipple and admiring it hungrily as it tightened to a point. 

His fingers skated down her body, gently petting her sticky-wet curls and tapping—once, twice—at the bud of her clit. Her body jerked over him, and he pressed two blunt fingers inside her, her own slick easing the way. 

Rey’s hips began to circle, and it was all Ben could do to keep still as she took her pleasure from his fingers. 

Her pupils were blown to black, and he could tell that she was hanging onto the ragged edge of her control as she suddenly lifted her hips, his fingers coming free from her body with a wet _snnk._ Rey pressed an openmouthed kiss to his lips before climbing farther up him, knees resting outside his ears. 

“Is this ok?” she murmured as she stared down at Ben. His nose was brushing the curls hiding her core, and he lurched up, pulling her body down to meet his mouth with a sudden desperation. He drank her in, moaning as he lapped up her wetness, painting long strokes up her cunt. 

He listened for her moans and gasps as he nosed up her center to her swollen, rosy clit. His tongue curled, licking around her, and he sealed his lips to her, sucking hard. 

Rey bucked and jolted, and he slid a finger into her cunt, already feeling her flutter around him. He added a second finger and hooked them upwards to search for the soft spot that he knew would make her shudder in delight. 

Her thighs tensed around his head and her slick drenched his hand as she moaned his name, followed by ‘ _Lower’_. 

Ben obeyed immediately, turning his attention from her clit down to where his fingers split her open, licking circles at her entrance while he rubbed at her from the inside. He nuzzled back up, sucking at her clit again as he pressed his fingers in and out of her in long, deep pumps. 

Rey’s hands landed in his hair as his tongue slid back and forth over her clit, changing from firm strokes to sloppy, wet strokes until she started riding his fingers in earnest — small motions at first, then faster, stronger, until he could barely keep up. 

Ben’s cock was fully hard again, twitching as it lay across his hip, neglected but still dripping with slick. 

Any attention Ben could have paid to his own pleasure was taken by Rey as she pulled him by the hair, directing his mouth to exactly where she needed it. He sucked her clit and kept fucking her with his fingers as she rubbed her cunt over his face from nose to chin. 

His face was smeared with her now, wet and sticky, and he could feel a trail of her essence making its way down his neck. He _loved_ being claimed this way. Having her slick literally sinking into his pores, and knowing that he’d be smelling her on his skin for days to come made him redouble his efforts until her cunt squeezed down on his fingers. 

Her hips slowed to a grind as her muscles flexed, and Ben felt her pulsing and clenching around him. A gush of slick was his reward, and he flattened his tongue to catch as much as he could.

Rey pushed his head back down, and slumped at his side, resting her head on his shoulder. Ben drew his fingers out of her cunt — hot and still fluttering — and sucked them clean, eying her sprawled out in his nest with a deep-seated feeling of satisfaction. 

She rolled into him, and mouthed at his throat until Ben grunted and rolled to face her, palming her ass and grinding his cock into the softness of her belly. Her soft nuzzles soon turned into bites, and Ben felt her nibbling circles around where his mating gland stood out from his neck, raised and throbbing and red. The scrapes of her teeth brought his desire to the forefront of his Omega instincts, and every swipe of her tongue felt like sinking into a warm bath.

Ben’s hands were everywhere — pinching Rey’s nipple, squeezing her ass with a wide palm, then circling her clit again and bringing her wetness to her belly, mixing her slick with his cum before gathering it up with a crooked finger. 

He brought his hand to her lips, offering a taste, and her lips parted, the pink of her tongue wetting them before she sucked his finger into her mouth as far as she could go. He stroked the roof of her mouth and she moaned around him, sending vibrations through his hand that seemed to connect right to his cock as he continued to grind into her. 

His body began to burn again — the flames of desire licking at his skin until it felt raw and his blood boiled. They were both drenched in sweat and slick, and Ben tilted his head back to give Rey better access to his gland — _bite me, mark me, claim me, please, AlphaAlphaAlpha_ — but she swung a leg back over him and crouched over his hips, one hand wrapped around his length.

Before he could draw a breath, she was notching his cock against her center and easing down on top of him. Her inner walls stretched around him, and Ben could hear her panting in time to his groans. He fought the need to move, to thrust, to grind, to _fuck_ , until their combined slick drenched everything and they were too boneless to move. 

She rose up at a tortuous pace, a slick sound following her movement, and Ben let out a long groan and dug his fingers into her hips before sliding his hand around and thumbing at her clit.

Her hips twisted, and she gritted out through clenched teeth, “You’re—huge—Jesus. Fuck. Do that again.” 

He complied, his wide thumb rubbing slow circles around her clit and she sank back down, her hips settling on his; the slow pace bringing forth another _squelch_ from where his cock was nestled deep inside of her cunt. 

Rey’s legs were soon trembling, and Ben couldn’t stand it anymore — he wrapped his hands around her waist and slammed her down on top of him, meeting her hips with a thrust of his. Soon the sounds of flesh against flesh and whimpers filled the room, as they lost themselves in the sensation of being together — man and woman, Omega and Alpha, two becoming one. 

Ben pulled his head up from where it was buried amongst his nest, greedily eying where his cock disappeared into her cunt, the wet sound of them grinding together propelled him further into the mindlessness of heat — and he knew that with every thrust of his cock, Rey was losing herself right alongside him. 

“I could live like this,” she groaned. “I could _die_ like this and be happy, Omega.” 

Her hands landed on Ben’s chest, and she levered herself up and down his cock as he arched to meet her, his neck on display for his Alpha.

Then it’s oblivion, nothing except the slide of skin on skin, cock and cunt, Rey’s tongue against Ben’s mark, and Ben’s thumb against Rey’s clit. They climb together and fall together, her cunt growing tighter and tighter around him before clamping down on his cock and refusing to let go as he pulses spurt after spurt of cum inside her. Every twitch of his cock has her shuddering around him, her pussy squeezing his cock, holding it hard inside until he can’t move anymore and they’re locked together, their slick mixing messily in her cunt and dripping down his shaft. 

Somehow Ben managed to find the energy to shift them so they were spooned together, face-to-face, legs intertwined and his cock still buried deep inside her. His mind cleared briefly, and he tilted his head down to the woman cradled in his arms, giving her a goofy grin before slurring, “You knotted. We’re knotted. _Alpha_ …” 

He hummed and buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. He felt more relaxed, more at ease, and more comfortable than he had ever been in his life; laying in a nest with the woman he loved, pressed tight together, gave him the sense of belonging that he’d craved for as long as he could remember. 

Rey pressed kiss after kiss into his chest, her fingers twining themselves in his hair, whispering words of adoration and praise to him as the tips of his ears grow hotter. They rested together, Ben slipping free from the heat of her cunt, but their bodies still wrapped around each other, knowing that the climax they both had was just a temporary relief. Soon heat and rut would take hold of them again, drive them ever more mindless with need, until they moved without thinking.

Ben hitched Rey’s legs over his hips and sank into her heat again, ducking his head to lick at a nipple as she rubbed his gland, her hips rising and falling to meet his motions. She flipped them both over and rode Ben until tears were streaked down her cheeks as they were once more locked together. 

Rey collapsed, sweaty and breathless, on Ben’s chest. His arms tightened around her and he whispered a quiet, “I love you,” as he buried his nose in her hair. She stirred and stretched to kiss the divot at the base of his neck, mumbling, “Perfect Omega. Make me so happy. Wanna keep you forever…” before falling silent and sinking back into the warmth of his embrace, distracted by investigating the shallow grooves along Ben’s hipbone with her fingers. 

~~~

Ben slept in between times, while Rey padded naked to the kitchen, gathering bottles of water and plates full of fruit and cheese, crackers and meat. She urged him to eat, coaxing him to open his mouth for a small nibble of food, chasing the snacks with lingering kisses and murmurs of “good boy” and “such a good Omega”. 

He preened under her care, always opening his mouth for food and water, and then pursing his lips for the kisses he knew were coming until she threw her head back and laughed, calling him _mine_ and _perfect_ and _needy_. The purse of his lips would become a pout, and Rey soothed the imaginary hurt by bending at the waist over the side of the bed and gently tugging Ben behind her, directing him with fingers caged loosely around his cock. 

Night turned to day, and back again to night as they took their pleasure from each other. Ben’s nest transformed from a neat and cozy circle of warmth into a sodden mass of fabric that was shoved to the floor as Rey bounced on his cock, or as Ben writhed underneath her while she swallowed him down, her fingers working madly between her own legs. 

As Ben lost himself in fiery confusion, he begged for Rey to bite him — “ _Please, Alpha, please — just bite me, please, make me yours, I promise I’ll be good, please—”_ but every time, Rey turned her face away and tried to distract him with passionate kisses, her body shaking as she fought against her biological need to claim him. 

When their bodies came apart, Ben would lay back, sated but wondering why his Alpha wouldn’t mate him fully. What more could he do to make her want him? What was wrong with him that she wouldn’t claim him? But then Rey, as though noticing a line of tension in his brow, or how he bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood, would climb on top of him and sink down, her body easily accepting him, riding him until they were both breathless and Ben couldn’t remember his own name, much less his failings as an Omega. 

~~~

Four days passed in a flash, and minutes stacked on top of minutes to spread out Ben’s heat-diven impulses, and Rey’s biology followed suit. They lingered over picnics in bed, spent extra time in the shower, and managed to hold one or two conversations that didn’t immediately devolve into moans and Ben’s cock nestled into Rey’s waiting cunt. 

It was during one of these protracted moments of stillness when Ben found himself lying on his back in bed, picking at a loose thread in a forest-green sweater that had seen better days. He stared absently across the room at Rey, who was attempting to tame her hair in front of the bathroom mirror. 

She had taken especially good care of him after their bodies let them come apart — made him a perfect cup of tea, and he laid between her legs, his head propped on her chest while she ran her fingers through his hair until he was nearly purring in contentment. 

He knew he was gone for this woman, totally head-over-heels devoted to her, and for as much as he knew she loved him too — she told him all the time, after all — even during this moment of absolute perfection, he couldn’t bring himself to ask why she was holding back. 

There was still a broken, shriveled part of him that questioned his worth, that was terrified of what she’d say if he worked up the courage to ask her why he was clearly going to end this shared heat without a bitten scar on his neck. It had been _days_ , and it was nearly over, and as much as Ben adored everything they’d shared up to this point, it wasn’t quite _everything_ he needed. 

Rey turned off the bathroom light and crawled back across the bed, straddling Ben’s lap as his cock twitched in interest — a sure sign that there was at least one more round to go before things returned to normal. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, pressing their foreheads together as he inhaled, filling his lungs with their combined scents. 

He ran his hands up over Rey’s shoulders, tracing the delicate lines of her collarbones with his thumbs before brushing a few strands of hair out of her face. She smiled softly at him and leaned in, taking his lower lip between her teeth and teasing it with her tongue, letting go with a little shriek as Ben growled and flipped them both over, caging her between his body and the mattress. 

He trailed the tips of his fingers down her thigh until he reached her knee, and while she giggled and shied away from the delicate touch, he pulled her leg up to hook over his hip. Even after so many days of fucking, all she has to do was tilt her hips up and he couldn’t stop himself from sinking into the wet warmth of her cunt. He seated himself fully inside her and rocked his hips just a little, just enough to make Rey go wide-eyed and gasp a little. 

They gasped together when he slid back out of her, grunting at the loss of friction, and he rocked in and out of her. He paused, and she combed her fingers through his hair before grasping his face and tugging him close for another kiss. 

Ben repeated the motion — a slow push and pull, gazing down at Rey as she squirmed beneath him. Her fingers dug into his hips, his thighs, his ass, as she tried to coax him into moving faster, but this late in his heat, Ben could ignore his Omega brain telling him to _hurry up and fuck_. He’d had sex with people before Rey, but this was the first time he could actually call it something more. 

Rey was sweet, and pliant, and soft, and Ben fully intended to prove his love to her with his body, even if he wasn’t going to emerge from this room with her as his mate. 

Rey arched beneath him, canting her hips to chase him as he withdrew before slowly feeding his cock back into her cunt. Ben leaned on one elbow and palmed one of her breasts, rolling her nipple between his fingers before dipping down and sucking it between his lips. His tongue flickered across her sensitive skin while he ground down against her clit, the wetness of his slick helping ease the friction. 

She huffed in his ear, panting. “God Ben, you’re so good. Perfect. I love you—”

Her words of praise hit Ben like a shot of adrenaline, and his hips snapped against hers faster and faster, until the force of his thrusts began inching Rey back towards the headboard. Grunting, he grasped Rey around her waist and flipped them over so she lay on top of him, her dark hair curtaining their faces as their lips met again. His tongue rolled against hers and she began to slide up and down his cock, circling her hips on the downstroke to grind harder. 

Before long, Rey began to falter, and Ben started directing her movements—lifting her up off of him and then slamming her onto his cock. She lifted her hands to her head, pushing her hair off her face before skating them down to pinch and tug on her own nipples, and Ben watched every movement with greedy, heated eyes. 

Her hand traveled farther down her body, and Ben lost his rhythm as he felt the touch of her fingers brushing against his cock as she circled her clit. 

He began to babble, words spilling out from kiss-plumped lips, begging again, “Bite me, make me yours, please Alpha, _please,”_ and as he tilted her hips just _so_ to work his cock against the front wall of her cunt, he arched his neck, presenting his gland to his Alpha for the final time.

His chest was strewn with bruises the shape of Rey’s mouth, and he could feel each one like a tiny pinprick as she leaned down and her hair brushed over them. Her hot breath against his cheek, his lips, his neck. The pressure of her tongue as she licked a flat stripe over the red, puffy mark that shouted to the world, _take me_ . A simmering deep in his belly as he fucked up into her that turned into a full, rolling boil at the feeling of her teeth scraping his skin. And then the exquisite pain when her teeth broke the skin, the perfect half-moons of her teeth sinking _inside_ of him as she finally, _finally_ , made him hers. 

Ben howled, eyes squeezed shut as he felt his world explode into light like a star going supernova. He saw colors behind his eyelids, shooting stars, planets, the fucking _universe_ , and when he opened his eyes, all he could see was Rey — his mate. 

He could feel the sharp sting and pull of her teeth as she released him, lapping the spot clean as blood pooled on his skin. His mark was pulsing and hot, and as her tongue laved him, he felt his pulse sing in his veins, and he took her hips between his hands again.

He fucked her onto his cock as far as he could go as her cunt began to ripple and pulse around him, and he pumped a steady stream of cum into her waiting body. She whined and writhed on top of him as her fingers resumed their rough circles against her clit, and suddenly she was clamping down around his cock, holding him in, causing his body to stiffen as it offered up a final spurt of spend to her as a reward for such _good work._

~~~

Ben fell into the sleep that only a completely content Omega could have, but when he pried his eyes open and couldn’t feel Rey pressed against him, he sat up in a near-panic, hand flying to his neck to prod at the mark he would wear for the rest of his life just to be sure it wasn’t a dream.

The mark was there, and he traced the outline of her mouth made permanent on his skin when his ears picked the unmistakable sound of someone trying to muffle their tears. He turned and saw Rey sitting on the edge of his bed, head in her hands, a blanket tucked around her shoulders. 

He reached a hand out and traced her spine as she stiffened, her shoulders shaking with a new torrent of tears. 

“Alpha — what’s wrong?” Ben murmured as he scooted across the bed, drawing her into his side and pulling the blanket up to cover them both. 

She buried her head in his chest and sobbed a muffled, “I’m _so sorry_ , Ben” as he began carding his fingers carefully through her hair. 

“Sorry? Sorry for what? That was incredible. _This_ was incredible, the past few days…” He trailed off and tilted her chin up so he could look her square in the face. “You don’t… Rey, you don’t regret what happened, do you?” 

Rey scrubbed her hands over her face and choked out, “We didn’t talk. About that. The bite, I mean. We didn’t talk about it before, and I just _did it_ , and oh God, you must hate me. You asked and asked, and I couldn’t fight it anymore, and I’m so fucking sorry, Ben.” Her tears were falling faster than Ben could brush them away, and he stilled long enough to gather his courage before asking quietly, “Are you sorry for claiming me, then?”

Rey jolted at his words, scrambling back in horror as she took his hands between her own and pressed kiss after kiss to his knuckles. 

“Oh Jesus, Ben, no, no, of course I’m not sorry for _that._ I love you, and this is what I wanted for us … but I wanted to give you the choice. Instead…” she sniffled, and wiped her face with the corner of the blanket before continuing, “Instead, I couldn’t control myself and you asked me so nicely and were so good for me, and I just— I just— I bit you!” 

She wailed the last words, and Ben had to bite his lip to keep the laughter from bubbling up.

“Rey, I asked for it. Since you came into my apartment. I made this nest for you — for my Alpha. I begged and begged you, but you held back. You fought against yourself for me.” He pulled her close and nuzzled into her neck, “I wanted this, Alpha. My mate.” 

She melted into his embrace and groaned, “I thought you’d be furious with me. I had it planned differently in my head, I wanted to talk before, to give you the choice; you _deserved_ the choice. I thought maybe this wasn’t what you wanted—or at least not yet, or not with me—” 

Ben cut her off with a searing kiss, nudging her back against the pillows, his body pressing her into their ( _their!_ ) nest until — suddenly — he pulled away, shooting a crooked, dimpled grin at her.

“Stay right here.” 

Ben launched himself off the bed, scrabbling for purchase on the floor with legs that seemed as useless as a newborn foal’s. Stumbling to his dresser, he yanked open the top drawer and pawed through the bundles of socks and underwear until he found what he was looking for. He paused, holding it tightly in one hand as the other came up to rub against the still-healing bite on his neck. 

A deep breath, a slow turn, and then three long strides brought him to the side of the bed. Rey was quiet, simply watching him — but when he sank down to one knee next to her, her lips parted and she swung her legs over the side of the bed, sitting on the edge. 

He knelt on the floor of his disaster of a bedroom and cracked open the blue velvet box that held his grandmother’s sparkling diamond ring, the one his mother had slipped into his coat pocket after their last dinner together. 

"Rey, with you — with you, I want everything."

As he looked up at Rey’s face, he could have sworn that he could see their future together in her shining eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have a good piece of art for the completion of this fic, honestly. I could have gone very on the nose with the Arnolfini Portrait by Jan van Dyke. Or maybe Yves Pires' [Kiss](https://www.artsper.com/en/contemporary-artworks/sculpture/454882/kiss). It doesn't matter--what I'd love to know is if there is a piece of art that this little fic made you think of. I'd love to know! 
> 
> Thanks for reading, friends. Until next time! xoxo

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter title came from the painting _Inspiration_ by Jean-Honore Fragonard. Check it out [here](https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Jean-Honor%C3%A9_Fragonard_-_Inspiration.jpg)! He was a late Rococo artist whose paintings were full of life, excitement, and indulgence, many of which have thinly veiled themes of eroticism and intimacy. Can you say 'perfect for a/b/o'?
> 
> Please excuse me playing fast and loose with art history/restoration--I haven't been in school for *cough cough mumble* years so things have gotten a little fuzzy.
> 
> Updates will come pretty regularly, so subscribe or check back again soon!


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